Chapel Bell Curve: The One Where Nick Saban Retires After Seeing Barbieheimer

Chapel Bell Curve is back, with the first of several episodes in short succession. This one has a decidedly previewy feel, but manages to stray just outside the yellow lines, including the following:

• Justin is busy learning the playbook so he can provide meaningful depth at tailback. In his stead Yara jumps in to talk about how the youngs talk, her gear-grinding dislike of Deion Sanders, discovers former PAC-12 Commissioner/ realignment origin villain Larry Scott, but finds she cannot add him to her running list of villains who are precisely 5’7 tall.
• Nathan steps gracefully into his elder statesman role by absolutely hating all this realignment crap.
• Ross, @DawgQuant on Twitter and proprietor of r2sportsmetrics.com, drops in some statistical knowledge including which teams the CBCR2 statistical model isn’t quite buying (hint, khakis and breakfast burgers don’t ipso facto make you elite). Also, and stop me if you’ve heard this one, Texas may in fact actually be back.
• SEC head coaches divided neatly into Barbie vs. Oppenheimer piles.

As always be sure to like and subscribe at your podcast purveyor of choice, and contribute to the CBC patreon if you’re moved by the spirit of Humphrey Mizzou to do so. Until later…

Go ‘Dawgs!!!