Beloved brothers and sisters of the Red and Black Army, I write to you this morning with glorious news for your eyes only. Our most treasured Comrade Joseph Cox, after perfecting his cover during stops at Colorado State, South Carolina, and Charlotte, has secured employment in Tuscaloosa with the great evil himself, Nick Saban.
Alabama is set to hire Charlotte’s Joe Cox as tight ends coach, sources tell @on3sports. First reported by ESPN.— Matt Zenitz (@mzenitz) February 4, 2022
Cox, a former Georgia starting QB, previously worked in the SEC as the wide receivers coach at South Carolina in 2020.https://t.co/k5bN5NhJoE
As you know, Agent Cox is one of our most decorated spies. He learned the offenses under Agent Bobo from the time he was a slight, freckled teenager. He then finished his munitions and public relations training with most dignified and exalted Agent William Muschamp in Colombia. No, wait. It was actually Columbia. But still. Now that these great sons have returned to the Motherland, we believe Agent Cox will carry on their legacy of sabotage in the name of UGA football.
Most celebrated and luxuriously coiffed Agent Kirby Smart penetrated the Great Saban’s inner circle, bringing home the secrets of his success. And now, my fellow children of The Revolution, the destruction of the Crimson Empire appears near. We have vanquished them on the field of combat in the Battle of Indianapolis. The old dictator will soon begin to stare fondly in the general direction of his lake house more often while grinding tape at 5:00 am. We anticipate that Agent Cox will do everything in his power to hasten the inevitable decline. Perhaps throw a screen pass straight into the hands of a Kentucky defender for a game-losing pick six. Then throw out an equally inapt “man in the arena” quote.
Not that we remain bitter after all these years. Not even a little. We are much excited for our most manly ginger colleague. He will bring glory, glory to Bulldog Nation with his clandestine efforts.
Viva El Ninjas Jengibre!
Viva La Revolucion!
Viva Los Peros!