It’s almost time for the greatest drama on television: the college football season. A lot goes into compelling cinema: a taut script, complex characters, stunning visuals.
But an oft underrated aspect of any masterpiece, whether on the big screen or the television, is the soundtrack. The perfect song at the perfect moment sets the tone for action, drama, even comedy. It’s so important that Hollywood pros spend months and millions of dollars crafting just the right musical accompaniment.
We’re not going to put that kind of time or cash behind our efforts. But still it’s worth a shot to figure out what theme songs might work best for SEC football squads this season. I think you’ll find that these hit all the right notes.
Alabama: “Won’t Get Fooled Again” by The Who. Every year Alabama loses a metric ton of talented football players. This year that exodus includes Heisman Trophy winning receiver Devonta Smith, the most efficient quarterback in school history, and the offensive coordinator who helped make them both superstars are gone. The Tide also lose defensive superstars Christian Barmore, Patrick Surtain, II, and Dylan Moses.
It won’t matter. The Tide are still loaded. They’re still going to be the favorite in the SEC West. It’s always amusing to see people say that Alabama will finally fall off this year. That the personnel losses will finally catch up to Darth Saban. Or that they’re a couple of poorly timed injuries away from disaster.
Ha ha. Those are the rules that apply to the rest of us. Your mortal rules do not apply in Tuscaloosa. Meet the new boss, SEC West. Same as the old boss.
Arkansas: “Hurt So Good” by Jon Mellencamp. Last year the Hawgs scratched and clawed their way to a respectable season in Sam Pittman’s first season, despite playing six teams who finished in the top twenty. The Razorbacks should be better this season, but could again play as many as seven ranked teams and again struggle to make it to .500. Sometimes progress don’t feel like it should....
Auburn: “That Was a Crazy Game of Poker” by O.A.R. Auburn went all in on Gus Malzahn at the worst possible moment and we all enjoyed a good laugh about it at their expense. But the cash-strapped little brother of East Alabama is now going for broke with Bryan Harsin, a man with no real ties to the southeast other than one season spent at Arkansas State. He does however have eight years of head coaching experience, a proven offensive philosophy, and a relatively solid roster.
The Aubbies played one crazy game of poker, and they lost it all, but one day soon they just might be back again. Because this is Auburn. And there’s nothing more Auburn than criminally mishandling a situation and then stumbling butt first into having it all work out in your favor in brilliant, inexplicable fashion.
Florida: “What a Fool Believes” by the Doobie Brothers. Gator fans have convinced themselves that Emory Jones is the next Mac Jones, and there’s nothing you can say to reason that away.
We’ll cover a few more teams, including your Georgia Bulldogs in the next installment. Until then...