Welcome to The SEC In A Sentence, in which I turn the leftover scrod and shrimp of a weekend of SEC football into Monday’s delicious bouillabaisse of pigskin content. Enjoy.
Alabama: I’m not saying Alabama isn’t a good football team, just that 2021 Alabama often does some things good football teams try not to do.
Arkansas: I don’t need a whole sentence, just three words: BOWL ELIGIBLE, BABY!!!!
Auburn: I assume this means Jimbo owns Opelika now, which joke’s on him when he finds out about the marauding bands of feral nine year olds.
Florida: I don’t need a whole sentence, just one tweet:
The turkey says in his talks with the farmer “he’s pretty confident that we’ll have something to serve for Thanksgiving dinner.” https://t.co/miJHxSXPY4— Emotional Support ‘Dawgs (@dawgsports) November 8, 2021
Georgia: Played 30+ players on defense in a thrashing of Mizzou, which you expect against a directional school, but against a division coeval seems almost Midwestern nice.
Kentucky: Held the ball for over 46 minutes and tallied 612 yards of total offense in an absolutely dominating.....um.... loss to Tennessee.
LSU: Coach O unleashed is a lot of fun, but no more effective than the original.
Mississippi State: Mike Leach’s offense remains the closest an adult sports fan can come to experiencing the wild sugar rush of eating every piece of Halloween candy the moment it’s handed to you then waking up the next morning after the rush wears off, then doing the whole thing again the next week.
Missouri: Missouri fans didn’t have much hope when they arrived in Athens, and they left with even less, but they’re still not Kansas fans and you’ll never take that away from them.
Ole Miss: Ran all over Liberty and all the folks from Falwell U. could do is stand by and watch.
Tennessee: The Volunteer defense played almost 100 snaps on the road at night in a game that went down to the wire, which is exactly what you want before welcoming Georgia to town.
Texas A&M: The Aggies are absolutely still alive in the race for the SEC West and if they win the division things might somehow get weirder in College Station.
Vanderbilt: Didn’t lose this weekend or have to fire any assistants to buy a little more time, which is more than anyone in Gainesville can say.
As always, feel free to drop your thoughtful observations and comic quips in the comments.