You’ve clicked on the link. And for that, I thank you. But if you’re coming here to find meaningful analysis of the 4-2-5 Tech defense, a deep dive on Yellow Jacket QB Jordan Yates and his progressions on short-to-medium routes, or even if you’re here to see debate on Carson Beck’s status as QB3... well, sorry to disappoint you.
This is a Georgia Tech team that has engineered a 98th national ranking in 3rd down conversions. And they reverse-engineered a 119th place in 3rd down defense. Their team passing efficiency is 128th. Total defense is 114th. You don’t need to take freshman calculus at a research institution to understand that the Ramblin’ Wreck is both rambling and is a wreck. Ergo, I can’t find anything to worry about during Clean Old Fashioned Hate.
That doesn’t mean all my anxiety was washed away in a Calgon bath. Today is a certain day, and with my particular circumstance it causes some concern. So without further ado, here are the three things that worry me about Thanksgiving.
1. Family. Having maintained quarantine during the 2020 holiday, the family was seemingly hell-bent on getting together for the 2021 National Day of Thanks. And some other things are a little different.
Does anyone else now have children over the legal drinking age of 21? And ones that have somehow overstocked my liquor cabinet and beer fridge, unasked? I’m gonna be on the lookout for this one.
I have parents that left their home in Georgia, and relocated to a NC retirement community called Frisco Bay (or something like that). They have literal lifelong friends and other family left behind earlier this year. While they probably see the benefits of celebrating with their children and grandchildren, a few morning Bloody Mary’s and maybe a Sauvignon Blanc or two may stir up some of the not-so-subtly repressed misgivings about not dying in your hometown. Lord, help me weather the emotional hour that is certain to come.
2. The bird. Two issues here, but I’ll let you in on something. I penned this article a little in advance. Mostly because I put in my PTO request for Wednesday and Thursday with Macondawg, and he’s not one to let work/life balance get in the way of #content. So I’m worried about the bird in advance. By the time you read this, I’m hopefully on the other side of these issues.
Issue #1. I’m mixing up my brine recipe a little. After tried and true consistent success, I’m going to add some orange juice and some apple cider to my brine in hopes of kicking it up a notch. My old one I could make in my sleep (or drunk, which happens every other year or so). This one will require my attention and I’m not positive on my portions. Wish me luck.
Issue #2. A business college just told me that he brines his turkey for 24 hours, and opened up the turkey early Wednesday morning to find... not exactly what he expected to see. Without grossing anyone out, visually and texturally the bird wasn’t right. Now I’m freaking out as I’m a couple of hours away from opening the packaging on my turkey and only thinking the worst.
3. The Family Picture. This is just about the only time my parents, their children and grandchildren can get together for a single photograph. At least since last summer. And with aforementioned relocation, my folks are anxious to have a pro capture their new digs on film for all of their long-distance friends to see and be envious of (I should say my mom does lean on the delusional side here and there). Not to mention my mother has tormented the family for years on picture-taking; from the Vivitar one-shot to crappy digital cameras and now on her phone.
Then you’ve got the golden hour just before sunset when the light will be just right, the last couple of trees with fall foliage will be picturesque in the background, and the photographer is scheduled in advance. Before that, we have to cook and feed everyone, make a meaningful effort at cleaning up, keep the sobriety levels at a manageable level, try to catch some football, and have three families travel and arrive at the designated spot on time. That sun waits for no man, or woman, no matter how much she tries to control every detail. The holiday is somehow coordinated around a 20 minute window to take some damn pictures, and everything else must give way.
I admit that these are all first-world problems. And I’m lucky that these are likely the most serious ones for me at the moment. But there are many serious ones that you all face. Whether it be personal health or those of loved ones, the loss of those dear to us, job or financial changes, and fractures in our communities that affect lives to a much greater degree. This is just a simple attempt to bring some light humour into a sometimes stressful situation, and an early invitation for all to embrace the advent of Cousin Eddie season. The one that gets residual checks from Hollywood, not from Gainesville. So join in the fun and tell us in the comments either the worries, or the joys, that this holiday is bringing to you.
I wish you all the peace and joyous celebration possible. I thank you all for your reading and tremendous participation. And as always...