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What’s Your Bye Week Honey-Do List?

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We don’t play on Saturday. I’m sure your significant other has plans...

Syndication: The Oklahoman

Welcome to the bye week. I am actually looking forward to this and have concluded that my liver really needs the break. This is the traditional period of time when we can decompress from what seems to be a shorter and shorter and shorter half-way point of the season (give or take a game or so). I mean, it has absolutely flown by. Georgia is 7-0, ranked #1 in the nation and, despite being the most banged-up team in ‘Murica, finds itself primed for some revenge down in Jacksonville and, hopefully, beyond.

Now, if you’re like me, the upcoming Dawg-free weekend is no time to relax and recover from my elbow and shoulder tendonitis. Hey, it takes a lot of effort at my age to curl a beer and pour a single malt. Hell, just reaching for the bottle on the top shelf of my booze cabinet is sometimes painful.

Anyway, Mrs. DtD has already presented me with a Honey-Do list and I am totally obligated to adhere to her demands if’n I want to stay happily betrothed. So, without further ado, here it is:

  1. Clean the gutters. Now, living in south Florida means no deciduous trees with falling leaves and all of that, but you’d be surprised at what collects in the average gutter down here. I’ve got palm tree nuts, old bottle rockets from the 4th of July, space debris and more than a few pieces of broken roof tile from Hurricane Wilma. That happened in 2005. I’ve been tardy in this task.
  2. Clothes shopping. At the local Outlet. I hate this. You ever been to an Outlet Mall? Unless there’s a Bass Pro Shop nearby (there ain’t), this is about the most heinous waste of a football Saturday I can think of. Just the thought of procuring a mid-Saturday parking spot gives me the dry heaves. But I need some new pants because I’ve gotten fatter since COVID and you have, too. O.K....I’ll just go. Damn.
  3. Re-sod about 50 square feet of front yard. Sod worm was particularly bad this year, so I’m going to try and do this myself because I’m a cheap ol’ bastige. I know it isn’t a big area, but when you’re as unmotivated as I am, it’s too big. This will probably take up most of Sunday, too.
  4. New garbage disposal. I bought a brand new garbage disposal. Still in the original box. That was 8 years ago. I have promised I’ll take care of this by Sunday evening. Just cleaning out everything underneath the sink should be sub-contracted to Halliburton. They could just blow it up to clear enough room for me to wedge into. We need a bigger kitchen anyway.
  5. Clip the cat’s claws. We adopted a cat 3 months ago. She’s just gotten used to us and has become quite affectionate.
McMeow. She’s Scottish.

There’s danger here...

I’m about to ruin everything. And lose a cornea.

I’ve decided I don’t like the bye week after all. As for my liver? Who am I kidding. I’ll probably drink more than ever. Someone check on my early next week. “15 Thoughts” might be delayed...

What’s on your list?

As Always, GO DAWGS!