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...And That’s When I Realized There Was More Reasons To Hate Auburn

COLLEGE FOOTBALL: NOV 18 Louisiana Monroe at Auburn Photo by Scott Donaldson/Icon Sportswire via Getty Images

It’s Georgia-Auburn week. Some Barners might take exception to me writing it in that order, and to them I say that I will be happy to call it Auburn-Georgia when the Tigers win 12 of 15 against Georgia and have a lead in the all-time series record.

I didn’t expect to be here. Of all the hate pieces from last season, the Auburn one was the most comprehensive. I thought I had covered all the reasons I hated Auburn. In that piece we took a look at the Tigers looooonnnngggg history of cheating, and reminded the world that AUBURN HAS NEVER WON A NATIONAL TITLE WITHOUT CHEATING. By never, I mean it has not happened before.

Then I recounted my 2010 trip to Jordan-Hare Stadium. That was the day I realized Auburn fans are trash, and it was also the day that Nick Fairley assaulted Aaron Murray well after the whistle until a fight broke out. While we’re here, let’s remember Lauren Murray’s memories from that day.

“It’s hard for a mom to forget the day she watched cheap, dirty, illegal shots taken on her son over and over again that amounted to a fractured sternum, 8 stitches under his chin, whip lash (so bad the Dr. said it was worse than patients who are in major car accidents), and lastly, a contusion to the leg that finally brought him down. “As Aaron was squirming on the field in pain,” she continued, “… surrounded by medical staff, the Auburn fans were on their feet cheering while Fairly strutted around like a peacock getting accolades and cheers from adults, students, parents and coaches.”

Surely there couldn’t be any more reasons to hate Auburn, right? Wrong. The Auburn Family is a human mass of hate fuel and low standardized test scores.

Since it’s 2020, and there’s enough real discord in the World, I want to remind everyone this is all meant in the spirit of fandom.

More Reasons To Hate Auburn

1 - The Reggie Brown Hit - The 2004 Georgia-Auburn game was a bad day for the Dawgs, as the Bulldogs lost a game that both teams needed to stay alive in the national title race. College Gameday was on sight, and there was much fanfare to be had. That’s fine. It happens.

What makes that day relevant for our purposes was the hit that Auburn’s Junior Rosegreen put on Reggie Brown. It remains the dirtiest hit I have ever seen in a football game to this day.

I was legitimately worried that Brown was dead when the hit happened, but Auburn faithful at Jordan-Hare Stadium couldn’t have cared less. The rabid Auburn fans celebrated and cheered as Reggie Brown lay unconscious on the field. There’s a lot to say about that, but more than anything I pity how empty one’s life must be to celebrate a traumatic brain injury.

Auburn fans can’t help it though...

2 - Inferiority Complex - Auburn people’s inferiority complex as it relates to Alabama is common knowledge. However the reason that Auburn fans hate Georgia enough to cheer a concussion goes back to their childhoods. You see many Auburn fans grew up loving Georgia. Unfortunately, the University of Georgia cannot love everyone back.

Georgia ranked #15 in the most recent rankings of public universities by U.S. News and World Report. Auburn finished tied for #40. Generations of Auburn fans grew up wearing red and black while cheering for the Bulldogs on Saturday’s. That rejection still stings, and because of it they have to do things like making up stories to disparage the university that took the kid with better grades to the dance.

3 - LIES, LIES & LIES - The 2014 Georgia-Auburn game was a rough one for the Tigers. They came into the game ranked 9th, but the #14 Bulldogs whipped the Tigers 34-7. Victory on the field having eluded them, an Auburn fan took to the college football subreddit. In a post so obviously dishonest that it read like satire, the Auburn fan wove a tangled web of lies. There was made up spitting, beer bottles thrown in downtown bars and more spitting that never happened. It was the most pathetic attempt at trying to claim moral high ground over a rival fanbase the internet has ever seen, and you can read it here. If any of you have actually seen one Georgia fan spit on an Auburn supporter I will give you five dollars. If you have seen more than 20 people do it to the same fan I will give you my house.

Maybe one day soon Auburn will just learn to accept their rightful place in the academic and athletic hierarchy of the SEC. Until then we will probably see more lies and posturing from Auburn folks.

4 - The inferiority complex is mixed with egomania - We are here at game week again, and Auburn folks would have you believing this is a competitive rivalry. Georgia has won 12 out of the last 15 contests against Auburn, including the 2017 SEC Championship Game. The three games the Tigers have won have been at Jordan-Hare Stadium.

Despite that, there are Tiger fans all over who watched Georgia play one bad half of football and are now convinced that Auburn is going to beat the Bulldogs on Saturday. B-word, please.

With all we have seen this year, Auburn winning a football game against Georgia on Saturday is well within the realm of possibility. That result would go completely against what recent history has shown us however. Auburn isn’t just winless in Sanford Stadium since 2005, but they’ve lost those games by an average of 17 points.

Auburn hasn’t scored a touchdown past the first quarter of a game in Athens since 2007.

Despite that, Auburn wide-receiver Anthony Schwartz met with the media this week, and said the following about Georgia’s defense, “We’re not scared of any secondary.” Schwartz said that despite having -8 yards receiving against the Bulldogs last year.

To top it off, Tigers defensive tackle Daquan Newkirk ran his mouth too. When asked about what challenge the Georgia offense might present on Saturday, Newkirk said this, “There’s no challenge. We’ve got Coach Steele. He’s the best of the best.”

Alright then. I guess Georgia will just have to dominate them on Saturday night. By the way, why are we playing this game on an early October Saturday again?

5 - Auburn scared - Say what you will about the Tigers, but playing them towards the end of the regular season was a time-honored tradition. Instead of that tradition continuing, Auburn and their coach Gus Malzahn whined to the SEC office to have the game moved. Even though Auburn is 7-8 against Alabama over the last fifteen years, and usually have a bye week before facing the Crimson Tide, they said it was unfair to have to play the Bulldogs and Tide back-to-back.

I hate that I have to hate Auburn this week. It’s too early in the year for this, and yet the Tigers insisted it happen. So now Auburn heads to Athens with a lot of fresh face on both lines of scrimmage. It will be their first ever road game, and it will come in a place the Tigers haven’t won in 15 years.

Congratulations, you played yourself and ruined a tradition.

The Auburn athletic department should stick to Checkers. Chess is for smart kids.