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Free Form Friday: And So It Begins

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NCAA Football: SEC Media Day
“This is my ‘not scared of the Baylor Bears’ face.”
Vasha Hunt-USA TODAY Sports

Welp. Here we are. It is officially, unavoidably the college football offseason.

We find ourselves seemingly stationary in the horse latitudes between the end of one college football campaign and the beginning of another. Signing Day has come and gone, as has the Super Bowl. It’s too cold and rainy for fishing, the Masters won’t tee off for weeks, and I care too much for all of you to expose you to more than the bare minimum of UGA basketball. What are we to do with ourselves?

Free Form Friday. Our own brand of virtual navel gazing designed to get us to another fall’s worth of football. Maestro, the music:

While there’s no college football for a long, long time it’s not as if there’s no light at the end of the tunnel. The unofficial kickoff to the 2020 SEC football season, SEC Football Media Days, is coming up this summer and the dates for each team’s availability were announced yesterday.

I have to be honest. I love Media Days more as a cultural event than a news event. It is one of the rituals by which we mark our journey around the sun and through life. It is not a chance to learn anything we didn’t already know about any given SEC football program. In this time of social media, with every league school employing an actual army of PR professionals, and a whole ass television network on which I can watch Eliah Drinkwitz and Will Muschamp fish for crappie and talk about being multiple on defense.

There aren’t likely to be any juicy announcements. All the players have now been interview prepped within an inch of their lives. Everyone is just grateful for the opportunity this season presents, and the whole team has really bought into workouts, and the veterans are really stepping up and leading. It will come as no surprise to you that the young guys know they have to step up, and that there are opportunities for playing time. Blah. Blah. Blah.

We can do better, Dawg Sports. So, as we’ve done in this space in the past, I’m asking you to submit the questions you would ask the SEC football coaches when they convene in Atlanta in mid-July. As you might have guessed, I have a couple of suggestions:

For Lane Kiffin: Coach, this can’t be the first time in your life opportunity knocked because someone pretended to pee like a dog. But is it the most meaningful?

For Nick Saban: What did you think of Parasite? How did it influence your coaching style?

For Mike Leach: Have you found another person in Starkville yet who knows who Seneca and Epictetus were?

Jeremy Pruitt: Scheduling Georgia State sure seems like kind of a boner now, doesn’t it?

Sam Pittman: Coach, is it true your contract actually includes two Wal-Marts in greater Fayetteville, along with all inventory and profits going forward? If so could you hook me up with some of those reasonably priced golf shirts?

Kirby Smart: Have y’all taken Jamie Newman duck hunting yet? He knows that’s part of the deal, right?

Gus Malzahn: You want this Zaxby’s application I picked up on the way in?

Feel free to drop yours in the comments below and, as always . . .

Go ‘Dawgs!!!