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An Exhaustive List Of Stuff Jeremy Pruitt Ain’t Too Sure About

TaxSlayer Gator Bowl - Indiana v Tennessee Photo by Joe Robbins/Getty Images

In this day and time it’s probably reasonable to be just a little cynical. Life’s tough and anyone who tells you differently is probably selling something.

But nobody in the SEC is more cynical than Tennessee football coach Jeremy Pruitt. A lot of us are skeptical about Tennessee’s 2-0 start to 2020, but none of us as much as Pruitt.

And the Bald Top from Rocky Top isn’t just skeptical about his own team. There’s a lot out there that Jeremy Pruitt isn’t quite ready to trust. In fact, we’ve compiled a list of stuff Jeremy Pruitt isn’t too sure about:

  • Boats. Vol Navy be danged, Pruitt ain’t a fan. You can’t trust boats. You fundamentally cannot trust any form of transportation that may not necessarily be where you parked it when you get back.
  • Netflix. Recommends Coach Pruitt watch Emily in Paris. Coach Pruitt doesn’t trust women named Emily or the French. It’s a long story. Yet that dang algorithm just won’t give up.
  • Cats. Zero loyalty. Huge sense of entitlement. If you had a roster full of cats you’d wind up getting whipped by Vandy. Again.
  • Asparagus. Now knows what it is. Still don’t trust it.
  • Yoga. Is it exercise? Is it not? All Coach knows is that you can’t drink a beer while doing hang cleans but you can while doing this junk. Pretty suspect.
  • Dabo Swinney. Who could honestly trust a grown man who tells you to call him “Dabo” to his face?
  • Sushi. The only sushi Pruitt had access to growing up in Rainsville, Alabama was from a gas station attached to a Pizza Hut across the street from a tractor dealership. It was caught from Guntersville Lake. You’d be a little leery, too.
  • Visors. Basically just half-assed hats. Protect you from sunburn about like Jarrett Guarantano protects the football. The milking stool under a bull of headgear.

Until later, stay suspicious my friends. And...

Go ‘Dawgs!!!