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The SEC Night Before Christmas

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Santa Gus

‘Twas the night before Christmas And all throughout Dixie

Not a Coach was out crootin’

Not even Two-Face Swinney

The Gators were glum

Even filled with despair

As cries of “next year!!!”

Wafted through the swamp air

And Kirbs in his visor

Dell in his Dri-Fit

Had finished their class

With a tailback who’s legit

Muschamp was in the corner

Frantically making a call

To some dude named Bobo

To run the dang ball

While Jimbo in College Station

And the Pitt Boss in Fayetteville

Were lighting the Yule log

With a hundred dollar bill

And a barrel-chested dude

Thick as good gumbo

Was smoking a nutria

Thanking God for Joe Burreaux

When out on the Twitters

There arose a kerfuffle

The bagmen all booked it

Just dropping their duffels

The TV deal was soon ending

And Sankey proposed

New terms to CBS

They’d pay through the nose

But the suits they all balked

They wouldn’t bet the house

Looks like SEC football

Will belong to the Mouse

So if you love Gary Danielson

Pining sweetly Tua-ward

You’ll have to make due

With the sounds of Brock Huard

But I think we’ll be fine

ESPN’s gonna do great

Until they move the Cocktail Party To starting at eight

This poem is done

Like Bama’s playoff fight

So Merry Christmas to all

And to all, a good night.

Go ‘Dawgs!!!