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The Kirby Smart Hater’s Guide to Georgia’s Impending Loss to Notre Dame

NCAA Football: Appalachian State at Georgia
Kirby Smart and a team of investigators search for a way to win big football games.
Dale Zanine-USA TODAY Sports

Welcome to the Kirby Smart Hater’s Guide to Georgia Football, where we give a voice to the fans who will never be happy with Kirby Smart at the helm in Athens.

Before I really get going here, I want to give a quick shout-out to Kirby Smart and the Georgia Bulldogs for winning a statement game against Crapp App State. Any time you can beat a winless Sun Belt Conference opponent, you have to celebrate. I mean, what’s not to love about this performance from Kirby’s Dawgs?

Georgia was only out-scored 10-0 in the fourth quarter, when it mattered most. Not too shabby! And the Bulldogs only turned the ball over twice (while forcing a grand total of ZERO turnovers) and only lost the time of possession battle by two minutes and eight seconds. Dawgs. On. Top.

NCAA Football: Georgia Spring Game Dale Zanine-USA TODAY Sports

Tons of individual performances stood out too, as Kirby continues to coach ‘em up. Defensive studs like Roquan Smith , Lorenzo Carter, Jonathan Ledbetter and Davin Bellamy all managed to show great restraint in failing to log a single quarterback sack. A slew of stud running backs—Nick Chubb, Sony Michel, D’Andre Swift and Brian Herrien—combined to account for a total of zero 100-yard performances. Fantastic consistency there.

Oh, and then there was quarterback play. If you wanted to play quarterback for Georgia on Saturday afternoon, you probably got your chance. Jacob Eason? Sure. Jake Fromm? Go for it. Any running backs want to take direct snaps? All you, Sony. Wait, anyone from special teams want to help out? Maybe a punter? Atta boy, Brice Ramsey. Kirby shall reward your loyalty by giving you an opportunity to throw the ball twice to any player of your choosing—on either team.

Quarterback play in this game was an absolute disaster and that’s a huge reason why it’s impossible to think Kirby Smart is going to go to South Bend and upset one of the most dominant college football programs in human history.

Saturday’s passing statistics were poor (it took four quarterbacks to complete a total of 11 passes), but even more mind-boggling is the fact that Kirby needed four tries at filling the roster spot and still didn’t quite nail it.

Consider these randomized quarterback outputs. (Note: These are real stats from Saturday.)

Georgia QB Performances vs. App State

Player Completion Percentage Passing Yards Yards Per Attempt TD INTs
Player Completion Percentage Passing Yards Yards Per Attempt TD INTs
Player 1 33% 4 1.3 0 0
Player 2 67% 143 9.5 1 0
Player 3 0% 0 0 0 2
Player 4 0% 0 0 0 0

Which player would you want under-center? Probably Player 3, right?

Well, not if you’re Kirby Smart. Incredibly, he started Player 1. Player 4 also got snaps at QB but was too timid, too selfish or too confused to throw a pass. Player 3 is who Kirby trusted in the crucial fourth quarter. Player 2 quietly performed with poise while attracting hardly any attention.

Ready for the big reveal?

Player 1, who struggled mightily by every measurable measure despite starting, is Jacob Eason. Player 2, who low-key played pretty darn well, is true freshman Jake Fromm. Player 3 is punter-turned-passer Brice Ramsey. Player 4 is Sony Michel, who was too selfish to even share the ball once it was snapped to him.

How stupid is Kirby Smart? He obviously has no idea what he’s doing if he’s making Fromm split reps with three other guys. What’s the deal? And if I’m being honest, I don’t think Kirby would have ever even let Fromm play if App State hadn’t made Jacob Eason bend the knee.

And this is the man that we’re trusting to lead our Bulldogs into a harsh environment against what may have been the best 4-8 team in the country last year? Something tells me Georgia’s 36-year winning streak against the Irish is about to come to a bitter end. All we can hope is that the loss triggers something with the brass in Athens. At some point, we’re going to get tired of losing to elite football programs with gold helmets, like Georgia Tech, Vanderbilt and Notre Dame.

And you better believe I’ll reach my breaking point on Saturday. Notre Dame is supposed to be a religious institution, but they had no problem destroying a Temple and walking away last week. Something tells me Georgia is going to face a beat-down of Biblical proportions when Kirby realizes he’s an Aint going against a team of Saints, like Equanimeous St. Brown.

On the bright side, this game atmosphere should be pretty lit and I’m not talking about literature. Fans will surely enjoy the experience of a game in South Bend. Always the gracious hosts, I’ve heard the Notre Dame student section is going to pay tribute to Kirby Smart and the Bulldogs. The front row is painting the words of Proverbs 26:11 on their chests.

Say what you want about Kirby, I guess. At least he’s Dawg through and throug.