It’s the Friday Tailgate, that place we run to in order to pass the time before the Georgia Bulldogs run and pass on their own. The Friday Tailgate is filmed live before a studio audience. Maestro, help me tie this cummerbund, then give us the tunes:
I have a confession to make. I will not be watching the second half of tomorrow’s game live. No, it’s not that I believe the game will be salted away and I’ll be on my way home. Or that I think we’ll see a replay of 2007 and I’ll be too disgusted to see any more. No, I’m scheduled to be at a wedding. Yes, a fall wedding. And that’s okay.
A little backstory here. The wedding in question is the nuptials of my baby cousin, a decade my junior. I didn’t raise her, but I was there for enough of her raising that I feel sort of invested in this thing. I’m pretty sure that I baited the hook for the first fish she ever caught, and I even changed a diaper or two. She’s an Ole Miss graduate. Ole Miss is playing Alabama tomorrow, so her college friends feel no compunction about traveling to Georgia for this fete as opposed to watching their team get run through the grinder like a chuck roast at Five Guys. Those poor sops have endured a good bit and are about to endure a heckuva lot more. Let ‘em enjoy doing the chicken dance this once.
I’ve seen some take the strong stance that they will not attend weddings on fall days upon which their favorite college football team is playing. I’m not saying that’s an unreasonable response. I am saying that it fails as a hard and fast rule. Look, I’m a big fan of marriages. So much so that I’ve now spent almost half my life in one. And you can’t have those suckers without weddings.
And finally, I’ve come to realize there is a whole cohort of people who don’t actually pay any attention to college football in the least. They don’t worry about things like Jacob Eason’s knee or Auburn’s defensive front. No, their time is occupied with more pedestrian concerns like saving for retirement or avoiding nuclear war with North Korea.
Those happy simpletons. Oh, to live in their halcyon bubble. Apparently those people also attend weddings at all hours of the day and night and all seasons of the calendar. I look forward to meeting them and learning their curious ways. I will report back. And I have plenty of space on my DVR. So we’re good.
While we’re here, how about we play a little game of our own. As I recall, last time the only winners of this one were the ‘Dawgs themselves and the Under. So, Over or Under?
Jake Fromm throws for 199.9 yards.
Nick Chubb rushes for 99.9 yards.
JR Reed picks off 0.9 passes.
Tennessee tailback John Kelly rushes for 99.9 yards (he’s averaging 112.5 on the season).
Georgia sacks Volunteer QB Quinten Dormady 3.9 times.
Isaac Nauta snags 0.9 touchdown passes.
Jayson Stanley catches 1.9 passes.
Lorenzo Carter makes 2.9 tackles for loss.
Georgia gets called for 2.9 personal foul penalties.
Butch Jones coaches 0.9 more games in Knoxville after this one.