Before we begin in earnest, I want to say a quick thank-you. The Kirby Smart Hater is quickly becoming the “official” voice of Bulldog Nation, and that’s a real honor. Glad to have my finger on the pulse of Georgia fans around the universe. I appreciate all the great feedback in the comment section and via email. You guys just “get me” and I just get you. Happy to be in this together. Let’s go...
Welcome to the Kirby Smart Hater’s Guide to Georgia Football, where we give a voice to the fans who will never be happy with Kirby Smart at the helm in Athens.
If you have a spare moment or two, say a prayer for Kirby Smart and his lovely family this week. Though he’s only been on the job 21 short months, he may soon be packing. A loss to Tennessee on Saturday (all but certain at this juncture), will unceremoniously conclude Kirby’s tenure in Athens with a career mark of 12-6.
This is a true good news/bad news scenario for Georgia fans. For most fans, this is good news. Georgia can finally begin searching for a competent head coach (Is it too late to call Tom Herman?). For other Georgia fans - well, really just one Georgia fan (Kirby himself - it’s bad news.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want Kirby Smart to get fired, at least not for losing to Tennessee. As much as we all may hate this guy, it’s still hard to actively root for a Volunteer victory and as a man of utmost character and discernment, I refuse to do so. So I don’t actually want Kirby to get fired this week. But it’s probably going to happen.
Why? Because he’s a worse coach than the worst coach in the entire conference. Therefore, the transitive property (Note: this has nothing to do with North Carolina shopping center restrooms, folks. Read a math book sometime) and basic heat conductivity says Kirby’s seat must be even hotter. We all know what’s cooler than being cool (ICE COLD!), but do you know what’s hotter than being hot?
Yo mama. Kirby’s seat.
Look, Butch Jones is an unmitigated disaster. He looks like butt-head in every sense of the word and he coaches like he’s all butt and no head. But I’ll be darned if Kirby Smart isn’t a worse football coach. Know how I know what I know? Because football is a meritocracy. The best team always wins, and Butch Jones coached the best team last year when Georgia and Tennessee played. Just ask the scoreboard.
And the 2016 game was not an anomaly. Kirby Smart has literally never beaten Butch Jones in a head-to-head capacity. Even as an assistant, Kirby struggled mightily against Butch.
Think about it: In 2015, Alabama barely stole a 19-14 victory over Tennessee. Nick Saban, arguably the greatest college football coach in the history of humankind, was Alabama’s head coach. Lane Kiffin, one of the most revered and respected head coaches of the modern era was Alabama’s offensive coordinator. Kirby Smart was Alabama’s defensive coordinator. So three current head coaches (two of which are legendary leaders) could barely best Butch. Who do you blame for that shortcoming? The best coach ever? Nope. The coach whose unit scored 100% of Alabama’s points? Nope. Or Kirby Smart? DING DING DING!
Georgia will lose this weekend. Last year, we learned that poor coaches lose close games. That trend will continue until it doesn’t at Georgia so it’s time for Bulldog fans to take a harsh dose or reality.
Tennessee fans want Butch Jones out because his team isn’t improving. Well guess what, neither is Georgia. But the Bulldogs’ entitled fan base is so excited about the victories they’ve been gifted that they haven’t taken a moment to realize what the Dawgs have actually accomplished. It ain’t a whole lot.
- Georgia beat App State. Congratulations, you aren’t 2007 Michigan.
- Georgia beat Samford. Congratulations, you aren’t an FCS team.
- Georgia beat Notre Dame and Mississippi State. Congratulations, you beat two teams with losing records a year ago.
Seriously, how disgusting is it that we’re now openly celebrating wins against programs like Mississippi State? I guess that’s the state of Georgia football under Kirby Smart. I actually miss the Mark Richt Era when we could celebrate wins over crappy teams like Vanderbilt, Georgia Tech and Tennessee. Now we’re proud to be the best Bulldogs in the SEC.
Maybe all of this mediocrity will end with Saturday’s lost to a sub-mediocre Tennessee team.