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Thursday Morning Dawg Bites Gets The Impression That Auburn’s Been Cheatin’

Can't you know lies can be seen in your eyes? And from wrong you'll never be free?

Photo by Scott Cunningham/Getty Images

As sure as the Sun rises in the east and sets in the west, if Auburn is fielding a competitive team... Auburn’s been cheatin’. It’s a fact! Once the Tigers have sunk back to being a mediocre team and Gus Malzahn has been run out of town, we’ll find out that there were shenanigans afoot during his tenure. The NCAA will do the usual investigative song and dance, nothing will come of it, and the process will reset. In 2020 or 2021 we’ll be having this conversation again. But for now... for this Saturday... you can rest assured that Auburn’s been cheatin’:

Not that it’s going to matter anyway. The Dawgs are gonna roll.

And now, onto your Thursday Morning Dawg Bites:

  • Let’s begin with a glorious pictorial of just the best boy in the whole wide world.
  • It turns out Jake Fromm is pretty ok at the whole quarterbacking thing. Don’t tell whatever loud mouthed DB is next in line to smack talk him, it seems to be working for us.
  • There are few things in the world I love as much as I love rushing stats like this.
  • As usual, The Red & Black does it’s level best to take a whole lot of nothing and give us something to read about in Wednesday’s practice report.
  • BREAKING NEWS: Auburn Graduate Believes Auburn Will Win Football Game. No word yet on the opinion of the interpreter that transcribed these responses from the graduate’s “Crayola My First Giant Coloring Book”.
  • One of my all-time favorites visited practice on Tuesday. DGD.
  • Finally -- speaking of cheatin’, this seems like the kind of thing you do if you have nothing to hide. I mean, if you have a previous “show-cause” penalty and you haven’t done anything wrong, you definitely want to be combative with your university’s internal investigation. Nothing to see here folks. It sure is nice to have a coach who was able to immediately say he wasn’t the least bit concerned when the latest round of CBB scandals hit.

That’s all for now, folks. Until later...