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Your Week 9 College Football TV Schedule

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Brought to you by Jim McElwain and next year’s most disturbing erotic thriller, Jaws 5: Fifty Sharks of Grey

“What the hell did I just watch?” - Richard Roeper
“So... does he like... love the shark?” - Variety
“I loved it!” - The Atlanta-Journal Constitution
Photo by Scott Halleran/Getty Images

“Good! ... Let the hate flow through you ...”

This sentiment has multiple uses this week. For one, Georgia will be toying with the rotting carcass of the hated Gators (much like Jim McElwain might do with his favorite cartilaginous fish). In another context, the hatred for whoever is scheduling these games for the major broadcasters grows stronger. Much stronger. There are a total of seven games featuring Top 25 teams in the 3:30 time slot. Of those games, three feature a match-up of teams that are both ranked. One of the others is the World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party (3-3 Florida is unranked, hehehe). It sure would’ve been nice to watch a few of those. To add insult to injury, the 7:00 slot doesn’t feature a single ranked team and the 8:00 slot only has Texas Tech/Oklahoma and Clemson/Georgia Tech. Such a waste.

Anyway... let’s get this hate-fueled party started!

WEEK 9 COLLEGE FOOTBALL TV SCHEDULE >>> TV SCHEDULE WEEK 9.pdf

And now on to your prime viewing options in each time slot:


THURSDAY

#20 Stanford Cardinal @ Oregon State Beavers, 9:00 pm, ESPN

Ahh, yes. A tree and his nemesis, the beaver. A rivalry as timeless as nature itself. Normally, the tree doesn’t stand much of a chance when the beaver sets about it’s work. In no time at all, the beaver brings the mighty tree crashing to the ground. But that beaver isn’t 1-6.


FRIDAY

Florida State Seminoles @ Boston College Eagles, 8:00 pm, ESPN

This probably won’t be the best game of the night, but it holds the most promise of being an abject failure for one team or the other... or both.


SATURDAY NOON

#11 Oklahoma State Cowboys @ #22 West Virginia Mountaineers, 12:00 pm, ABC

Seeing as this one is on ABC, I can’t be the only person that would be interested in seeing some kind of Celebrity Wife Coach Swap scenario with Gundy and Holgorsen, right? Seriously, tell me Gundy wouldn’t go over great in Morgantown.


SATURDAY AFTERNOON

Florida Gators vs. #3 Georgia Bulldogs, 3:30 pm, CBS

WORLD’S LARGEST OUTDOOR COCKTAIL PARTY, BABY!!!

Get your drank on. Make some questionable decisions. But most importantly, hate Florida. GOOOO DAWGS!!!

(Oh, there are a couple of other games too... like the #2 Penn State Nittany Lions and perenially overrated #6 Ohio State Buckeyes or the #14 N.C. State Wolfpack and #9 Notre Dame Fighting Irish. Maybe you can flip over to one of those after things start to get out of hand for the Gators.)


SATURDAY EVENING

Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets @ #7 Clemson Tigers, 8:00 pm, ABC

I’m torn between the joy that comes from watching bad things happen to Georgia Tech and my desire to see highly ranked ACC teams rack up their second loss (and thus be removed from our collective playoff consciousness). As usual, my hatred for Georgia Tech will win out.


SATURDAY LATE

#21 USC Trojans @ Arizona State Sun Devils, 10:45 pm, ESPN

Can’t beat Pac-12 After Dark.


That’s it for now folks. Until next time...

GOOOO DAWGS!!!