This weekend, we'll watch our Georgia Bulldogs tee it up between the hedges of Sanford Stadium against the Nicholls State Colonels. I can hear some of you snickering right now and, while that might be understandable under normal circumstances, this isn't just any season. We've watched the Mississippi State Bulldogs go down to the South Alabama Jaguars, the Kentucky Wildcats give up a massive lead to lose to the Southern Miss Golden Eagles, and the Tennessee Volunteers mortgage what was left of their souls to Lady Luck in order to defeat the Appalachian State Mountaineers. Now, Nicholls State has won a combined 13 games since 2010 so I understand your dismissiveness. But let me ask you a question. Doesn't that seem like exactly the kind of team Georgia would lose to as they completely blow up their season for absolutely no reason? I thought so.
So anyway, I've got some concerns. The following are the 3 things I am most worried about for Georgia's upcoming game against Nicholls State.
1. Greyson Lambert and Jacob Eason Will Have Playing Time Divided Equitably
I get it. I really do. Kirby Smart wants to ease Jacob Eason into the starting job a little at a time. Based on what we saw last weekend, I don't really think that's necessary but I get it. That said, if I see Greyson Lambert playing in more than a handful of meaningless possessions this weekend I'm gonna absolutely lose my mind.
Let's be honest, Nicholls State is a cupcake game. They're being paid a king's ransom to come get their tail kicked in Sanford Stadium. And we'll probably catch hell from the likes of the Big Ten for scheduling such a game. But hey, we can't all have a murderer's row of teams like Purdue, Northwestern, Indiana, Illinois, Rutgers, and Maryland to challenge ourselves with every week. Anyway, the reason you play a cupcake is because it gives you an easy win and an opportunity to develop your less experienced players before they have to go up against the big boys. And what do you know, we have our very own super-talented but inexperienced player just waiting to line up under center.
I respect "the process" and everything, but if Jacob Eason doesn't get the vast majority of the snaps to prepare for the SEC slate I'm gonna have a bunch of questions and I'm pretty sure I'm gonna hate the answers.
2. Peyton Manning Is Going To Show Up To Quarterback The Colonels
Within John. L. Guidry Stadium (where the Nicholls State Colonels play their games), you'll find Manning Field. It's named after the ubiquitous Manning family not because any of them played for Nicholls State, but because that's where they hold their "passing academy" each year. Yeah, you heard that right. The Colonels named their field after a glorified summer camp.
But here's the thing. In case you haven't noticed, Peyton Manning has quite a bit of time on his hands nowadays. Sure, he's got a busy commercial filming schedule between NFL Sunday Ticket and Papa John's, but he filmed those months ago. One of these days, the football bug is going to strike Peyton hard and he's gonna be looking for some playing time. I'm worried Nicholls State's game against the Dawgs could be that day. And yes, I realize Peyton exhausted his eligibility almost two decades ago. But if the NFL let the PED stuff slide, do you really want to place your season in the hands of the NCAA and rely on them ruling against the potential windfall of a Peyton Manning comeback game?
3. I'm Going To Be Murdered By The Mafia For Writing This Article
I don't know how many of you remember the book or film "The Client," but it absolutely scared the bejeezus out of me when I was a kid. So you can imagine my horror when I did some research on Nicholls State University and found out it was located in Thibodaux, LA. Thibodaux is a bayou city located about 60 miles outside of New Orleans. I've never been there, but I have to assume there are numerous boathouses under which one could easily conceal a body. And that proximity to New Orleans. What's in New Orleans? Oh yeah, THE MAFIA! Are you starting to see the same parallels I am?
The tongue in cheek nature of this post has surely drawn the ire of some mid-level Mafia members with Nicholls State ties that now want to off me. In this scenario, I'm Senator Boyd Boyette, MaconDawg is Reverend Roy, Podunk is Reggie Love, and I'm not sure who Mark Sway is (probably Dave cause he's a badass like that)... but you get the idea. Regardless, I'm already dead in the bayou and that has me very, very worried. Why oh why did we have to schedule Nicholls State?!?!?!
That's it. A QB debacle, a Manning resurgence, and my body slowly rotting in a Louisiana Bayou. What, me worry?
Sound off in the comments about what you think we'll see this weekend... both exciting and horrifying.