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Hot Take: SEC Media Days

Chad Kelly is the new Johnny Manziel. Bret Bielema has replaced Steve Spurrier. Paul Finebaum is a savage.

Butch Dill-USA TODAY Sports

Alright. Alright. Alright. Schools out. Johnny Football is still going strong. Another season of College football is right around the corner. And SEC media days has finally come and gone. As always, it was a star-studded event and provided its fair share of entertainment. Most people had their doubts with Steve Spurrier being gone, but rest assured it did not disappoint. So, without further ado here are my Hot Takes from SEC media Days:

  1. Nick Saban Gives Zero F**ks

Nick Saban doesn’t take much criticism, and when he does, he doesn’t take it well. Paul Finebaum shocked us all by actually questioning Saban for once (and rightfully so), but he definitely caught some wrath as a result. Most other coaches in college football would have at least suspended Cam Robinson and Hootie Jones after their arrest in Louisiana, but Saban’s decision to handle it internally is ethically questionable to say the least. I mean Mark Richt dismissed Isaiah Crowell for a pretty much the exact same offense. Moral of the story: Saban just doesn’t care what anyone else thinks because he can afford to. His word is as good as God in Alabama and no one has/will ever question his judgment. Rest assured, it would take something catastrophic for Alabama to sit their starting left tackle. There’s only one explanation for all Nick Saban’s success. He sold his soul to the devil. It’s no coincidence that Saban is one letter off from Satan.

2. Brett Bielema is the new Steve Spurrier

Brett Bielema has officially replaced Steve Spurrier as "The Godfather" of SEC media days. He always has some entertaining things to say and, like the ole ball coach, he always seems to find drama. Spurrier was known for taking shots at other programs/coaches and Bielema has taken his fair share as well. First he had beef with Malzhan over spread offenses affecting player’s safety. Then he took some shots at Cliff Kingsbury. Now it appears Bielema is going after Harbaugh and Michigan (For canceling their home and away series) and pretty much the whole SEC west over player discipline policies. Bielema doesn’t win much on the field, but he sure as hell does off it. By the way, have you seen his wife? Arkansas might not be "sexy", but she sure is.

3. Paul Finebaum is a Savage

I’m gonna be honest. I didn’t think Finebaum had it in him. The notorious Bama homer did the unthinkable. He confronted Nick Saban. Hey, If ESPN gave me my own show, I’d be feeling pretty confident as well. Be careful though Paul, you can’t turn on the hand that feeds you.

Paul then decided to kick a dead horse the next day (Hugh Freeze). Savage!

4. Chad Kelly is the next Johnny Manziel.

He’s cocky. Check. He’s outspoken. Check. He’s had his share of off-the-field issues. Check. He’s got an enabler (Hugh Freeze). Check. Oh yea and he’s also got a legendary nickname ("Machine Gun"). Remind you of someone?

5. Hugh Freeze’s act is wearing thin

Hugh Freeze might be a man of God, but what’s going on in Oxford, MS sure doesn’t seem very holy. There’s some sketchy sh*t going down at Ole miss, and Hugh seems to be the only one that doesn’t know about it. The secret is out. The curtain has been pulled. But hey, Ole Hugh is still "confident nothing has been done wrong" (Ha). Well, Hugh you’re the only one. I give him 6 more months tops.

6. Malzahn is pushing the "Gus Bus"

So Auburn had 4 players arrested with marijuana and none will miss playing time. Surprise. Surprise. The "Gus Bus" is almost at a stand still, and Malzahn is willing to do anything to get it rolling again. With no QB, an almost entirely new staff, and Tray Matthews anchoring the secondary. Auburn is in trouble. I hope Gus enjoyed media days because I think it might be his last.

7. Jim McElwain doesn’t wear socks

Apparently Jim McElwain doesn’t wear socks. No wonder he fits in so well in Gainesville. Someone give than man a pair of jorts and he’ll blend right in.

8. Butch Jones is still a pretty good salesman

In another life Butch Jones would be the perfect used car salesman (nothing against used car salesmen for the record). This year is different though. Surprisingly, everyone is actually buying what he is selling. The title nine suit is still lingering, but if Tennessee can win the East Butch might be here to stay for awhile.

9. Kirby Smart was as chill as they come

Let’s be honest, Kirby probably had the smoothest and most stress free SEC media days of anyone. He’s a familiar face in a new place. He received the best training anyone could ask for, and he just got handed the keys to a damn kingdom. Georgia is killing it in recruiting, we haven’t endured too many serious off-field issues (yet), our brand new indoor practice facility is underway, and we still have Nick Chubb. Excluding a few exceptions, just about everything has gone right for Kirby Smart since taking over at Georgia. Let’s hope this can carry over to the field.

10. Derek Mason seems more confident.

He’s coming into his 3rd season in the SEC and appears to really be hitting his stride. Vandy still won’t be over .500, but good for Derek.

11. Barry Odom provided exactly what I thought he would. Absolutely nothing.

12. Josh Dobbs broke my television.

13. Les Miles is still a frickin Legend.

14. Steve Spurrier wasn’t there in person, but he will forever be there in spirit.

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