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Not Gameday Morning Dawg Bites

In which we enjoy this brief respite from the horrifying agony that is college football...

I get it. I really, really do.
Photo by Mike Zarrilli/Getty Images

As you already know, there is no Georgia Bulldogs football today. I won’t get up at 7 a.m. and head to the butcher shop. I won’t start the smoker. I’ll drink coffee instead of bourbon. I won’t avoid College Gameday (actually, I’ll still do that... but I won’t really need to).

Normally, this would make me sad...

But this year is different for two reasons. The first is that I really do need a break from the rollercoaster of nonsense that is the 2016 season. The other is that I’ve been wallowing in sadness for weeks now, so how would I even be able to tell the difference?

So here’s some Saturday morning music...

And some Saturday morning news...

Jason Butt of the Macon Telegraph kind of zeroes in on what’s been troubling me lately with this piece on where Georgia finds itself at the moment. If the season is over halfway done and you still haven’t figured out exactly what’s going on, what your goals are, or what your identity is, I think its safe to say you may not. I’m not criticizing the effort, I’m just not sure the Dawgs will have the sails pointed in the right direction by season’s end.

So, I wandered over to Team Speed Kills and, for some reason, decided to subject myself to a post-mortem of the Vanderbilt game. I couldn’t disagree with much... mostly because I just don’t care. But allow me to address one small error from that discussion:

Firing Mark Richt may end up being the right decision, but I promise you he wouldn’t have lost to Vandy ‘Between the Hedges.’

But...see... he actually already did. In 2006. On Homecoming. With over 5 years of head coaching experience and all his own recruits. And, stop me if you’ve heard this one before, the #1 pro-style passer in the country playing as a Freshman. It was Vandy’s only conference win of the year.

As much as I’ve missed watching everyone fire up the torches and dust off the pitchforks, let’s at least be accurate.

Speaking of former #1 pro-style passers, Matthew Stafford and his former Georgia cheerleader wife, Kelly, are expecting their first child. So look forward to the 2035 season. That’s when the Baby Stafford era of Georgia football begins. 2035-37 National Champions! WOOOO!!! Either that or we get another excellent cheerleader. Anyway, as a Bulldogs and Lions fan, I’m very excited for them. Plus, I needed to bring a little joy to the proceedings before getting all dour again.

And let the gloom resume!

Oh, what’s this? Its a guide to the Georgia-Florida game, brought to us by First Coast News. In case you managed to block it out, we have to play the ******* Gators next week! That should go well.

But wait, there’s more! SEC Nation will be gracing us with their presence in Jacksonville. So in addition to what is an almost certain loss, we get the added benefit of Tim Tebow and Paul Finebaum violating both our senses of vision and hearing!

You know what... screw it,

Where’s the bourbon?

That’s it for now, folks. Enjoy your anxiety-free weekend.

Until next time...