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Tommy Tuberville's Brother Is Some Sort Of EDM Star And I Don't Understand It.

Chuck Cook-USA TODAY Sports

Let's start with the basics. Tommy Tuberville is a well-respected football coach. You know who he is. Coached at Ole Miss, Auburn, Texas Tech and now Cincinnati. He has a brother named Charles. Charles is allegedly a musician. Because science has not yet developed a team of time-traveling ninjas who can journey back to prevent atrocities before they occur, Charles Tuberville did this:

So much to process here. In this instance "EDM" stands for "Electronic Dad Music." There are hip-thrusting aliens in boxer shorts. I don't quite know how our civilization comes back from that. I'm not even sure what a "black-bottom pie" is but I'm reasonably certain it's still a misdemeanor in Alabama. And I don't think you should just go around showing people your Tuberwilly, either.

I've tried to come up with a musical analogy for how to describe this. It's like Delaney & Bonnie went on tour with the Bee Gees and never came back. Or like Tom Jones' assisted living facility started playing Moby on a loop. Or like the original Swingin' Medallions got into their grandkids iTunes accounts and listened to all the Deadmau5. It's just . . . I can't . . .

Let's never speak of this again. Forget I brought it up.