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Fire Greg McGarity.

Not "tomorrow." Not "after breakfast." Now.

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Dale Zanine-USA TODAY Sports

I was going to go for the "neutral approach" in the title of this article and say, "Should Georgia Fire Greg McGarity?" But I hate to be intellectually dishonest with y'all, and if you follow me on Twitter, you already know what my conclusion to that "neutrally-titled article" would be. So I've given you the ending of the story... but this is not an irrational, knee-jerk response to the firing of Mark Richt, though I admit it was the catalyst that caused me to write this piece. But I wouldn't spend 5,200+ words on this just because I was pissed that Mark Richt was fired.

No, this has been bubbling and brewing about in my head for about a year now, and the recent events in the football offices in Athens have brought things to a head in my mind. Not only that, but with a higher-level position like that of Athletic Director, it's hard to expect big changes in just a year or two. You need a few years to establish a track record from which you can be fairly judged.  And, as fortune would have it, Greg McGarity passed the 5-year mark in his tenure as Athletic Director just before this year's football season began. So, even though I've already given you my conclusion, I feel that it's important to show you the (mostly) logical, reasonable route that I took to arrive at that place.

Greg McGarity has been at Georgia for almost 5 years and 4 months.  Definitely long enough to establish a track record by which his performance should be judged. So let's look at the track record, shall we?

When you're talking about something as important as a person's job and livelihood, I feel that it's imperative to break the data points down into both quantitative and qualitative components. Quantitative points, ideally, should be objective, based on numbers and facts. For a coach, this is wins, losses, championships, and other measurable data. For an AD, it's not exactly as cut-and-dry, but it deals with the overall health, stability, and competitiveness of the entire athletic department. Qualitative points, by definition, are subjective, and subject to far more interpretation and, presumably, disagreement. I usually tend to side with a quantitative approach, since I think, in most situations, that objective measurements don't lie in presenting a person's job performance. So, let's deal with that side first.

The Quantitative Review

Let's start by looking at the facts as presented in the most positive light. By which I mean, let's look at Greg McGarity's half-page bio in the 2015 Georgia football media guide.  For the sake of brevity, I'm not going to cut-and-paste all of it here... just the parts about facilities and competition on the field, since, as Mark Richt's most vociferous detractors like to point out, that's "really all that counts."

Athens native and University of Georgia graduate Greg McGarity was named Director of Athletics at UGA on August 13, 2010, after serving 18 years in the athletic department at the University of Florida.

Ok, that's the first line, and I'm going to stop you right there. Athens native, UGA grad...  yeah, that's all well and good, but that last part is all you need to know.  He worked for 18 years doing his best to advance the interests of the University of Florida. That's practically his entire professional administrative career to that point. And he left the University of Georgia in 1992 to do that. He left Georgia to go to Florida. All of his decisions, therefore, must be considered suspect in the light of this damning evidence. Wait... dangit, that's not quantitative. Sorry about that.  I just hate Florida, and naturally distrust those who associate themselves with the Gators, especially for nearly two decades. But let's move on in his bio to actual quantitative details:

Since he became Director of Athletics, UGA teams have won national championships in women's swimming and diving (2013-14) and equestrian (2014) and SEC championships in men's tennis (2011, '13, '14, and ‘15), women's tennis (2013), women's tennis SEC Tournament ('14), women's swimming and diving (2011, '12, '13, '14, and ‘15), men's tennis SEC Tournament (2012 and ‘13), and two SEC eastern division titles in football(2011 and 2012).

Sooo... about that.
- The national championship equestrian team has been led by head coach Megan Boening since the program was first started in 2001. Boening was hired by then-AD Vince Dooley, and all she's done since then is just win national championships. She's the Suzanne Yoculan of equestrian. I mean, if you want, Greg, I'll give you credit for not firing her or running her off. 
- Also the national championship swimming program has been led by Jack Bauerle since 1979 on the women's side, and 1983 on the men's side. (That hire is partially credited to Joel Eaves, I think, for the women's side, and to, again, Vince Dooley for the men's.) And as you might recall, Greg McGarity damn near fired Jack Bauerle for a relatively minor academic infraction right about this time last year. You don't get to claim credit for a coach that you held out of competition for an entire season and tried to publicly sabotage, Greg.

And as so many recent commenters have reminded us, SEC titles don't matter if you don't win the natty, right? But let's look at those squads, anyway.
- The men's tennis program, while one of the oldest athletic programs at the school, was truly led into the limelight by the greatest of DGD's, Dan Magill, who retired in 1988 as the winningest collegiate tennis coach in history. Magill's successor, Manny Diaz, has taken the program to even greater heights... and Diaz was another Vince Dooley hire.
- The women's tennis program has been led by Jeff Wallace since 1986... yet another Dooley hire.  (It's worth noting that McGarity himself actually coached the women's tennis team from 1978-1981, cobbling together a thoroughly pedestrian 51-44 career ledger, which undoubtedly would have given him sufficient cause to fire himself if he'd been the AD at that time.)
- And, finally, the football program. The coach responsible for those SEC Eastern Division titles, Mark Richt, was also hired by Vince Dooley, then fired by Greg McGarity.

Let's continue down McGarity's bio to an even more interesting morsel of information...

Georgia's standing in the Learfield Director's Cup, which annually measures athletic teams success in NCAA championships, has improved from 20th in 2011 to 10th in 2013 and is consistently in the top 20.

What you don't see mentioned there is the fact that before Greg McGarity was hired in August, 2010, Georgia had only finished outside the top 10 in the Director's Cup twice since 1998. And under McGarity's tenure, we've only finished inside the top 10 once... and even that was just in 10th place. Other than the longtime, highly-successful coaches that were hired by Vince Dooley and are still around; the athletic department, as measured by the titles they have won, has regressed under Greg McGarity's watch.

But what about facilities?  You need the best facilities to compete in the SEC and the national picture, right?  Well, let's look at that bio again:

In addition, he has been at the forefront of facility expansion and renovation. Recently completed are a $12 million Foley Field (baseball) facility renovation, and new scoreboards/video boards at baseball, softball and soccer. New sound systems in Stegeman Coliseum and Sanford Stadium have also been installed to improve the fan experience, as well as improved rest rooms and concessions stands. In addition, a new Indoor Athletic Facility is scheduled to be constructed adjacent to the Butts-Mehre Building, which will provide a facility for all sports to use.

Whew... so much to unpack here.  I'm going to set aside the IPF (Indoor Practice Facility) thing for now, since I'm addressing it later in the qualitative section. But let's look at the rest:
- A $12M renovation of Foley Field... that has brought it squarely into the early 2000's. McGarity's masterful, genius work with the Foley Field renovations managed to provide "major upgrades" that brought Foley Field's capacity from 11th in the SEC... to 12th. (The renovation did add a few high-priced VIP seats and generally prettified up the place, but the SEC also expanded, so instead of 11th out of 12, we're now 12th out of 14... ahead of only Mizzou and Kentucky, and even those just barely.) And on top of all that, the renovations fell behind schedule and weren't completed in time for the 2015 season, so baseball fans had to sidestep construction equipment enroute to their entry gates in the "newly renovated" Foley Field. I've also got more on this in the qualitative section.
- Scoreboards at the softball and soccer complexes - Congratulations. You put up two big scoreboards with a G on them and a video screen that's barely bigger than the TV in my living room. I've been to numerous soccer games in particular, and you can hardly see what's on the damn thing from the soccer stands. (Those would be the soccer stands which are still just the old repurposed west endzone bleachers from Sanford Stadium before that end was enclosed, with a crappy press box plopped on top. Now there's a "bleacher report" for you.)  Good job, good effort.
- Improved sound systems, "rest rooms" (2 words, apparently), and concessions stands at the Steg and at Sanford Stadium - I find it unintentionally hilarious that his bio is bragging about this, given the complaints that we've seen about the state of the restrooms and sound system at Sanford Stadium recently. And it's not like the concessions are particularly great, either. Hot dog, pretzel, and "hey, now we have 2 booths where you can buy Chick-Fil-A sandwiches that were cooked 4 hours ago and have been sitting in a cooler!"  But let's give McGarity credit for instituting the new "all you can eat" seats at the Steg for those that love eating more than 2 hot dogs and 10 kernels of dry, stale popcorn.
- Notice, also, that nothing is mentioned about the far more significant recent work done at Stegeman Coliseum. Specifically, there's nothing about the major refurbishing of the outside and expansion of the concourses, because it was a legendary boondoggle that got bogged down for 4 years in lawsuits and insurance claims after somebody didn't realize that the new glass on the outside of the building would have to stand up to the extremes in temperature that we regularly see in Athens.  That's not directly McGarity's fault, I suppose, since he's not an architect, but he's the head man, and the buck stops with him. (Or it should, anyway.)

There's other attempted-sunshine-pumping in McGarity's official bio, but it's focused on things that so many fans just plain don't care about, like academics and community service. And I don't mean to downplay those things, because I think they are, in fact, very important, but those are also areas in which the University of Georgia was a leader long before Greg McGarity came on board as AD in the Classic City.

So that completes the review of the pertinent details of McGarity's PR bio. Now, let's tackle another very potentially useful "quantitative" area that is rather important in assessing an athletic director's performance:

During his 5-year tenure, Greg McGarity has hired the following head coaches:

(in chronological order)

- Lizzy Stemke, 2010, Women's Volleyball (Record: 66-87): Coach Stemke was the first hire made by Greg McGarity at Georgia, and she will likely be the first coach he hired that he will also fire. Coach Stemke had a very promising start for the languorous volleyball program, notching a 47-45 record in her first 3 seasons, including a NCAA tournament appearance in 2013. The bottom has absolutely dropped out since then, however, and her 2015 squad just wrapped up a 5-25 season in which they went 0-18 in SEC play. I don't care who you are... that's just terrible.

- Josh Brewer, 2012, Women's Golf (Record: It doesn't work like that for golf): I'd say the jury is still out on Brewer, but it doesn't look good. The women's golf team hasn't finished higher than 8th in the NCAA regionals during his tenure, and they finished tied for 55th last year at the NCAA's and tied for 10th at the SEC championships.

- Danna Durante, 2013, Women's Gymnastics (Record: 19-17-1 (Reg. Season only)): Ultimately, I believe the 2015 season will be the telling marker on Durante's tenure, but she is objectively better than her predecessor, Jay Clark. Clark left Athens with a proverbial bare cupboard, but Durante has managed to take the Gym Dogs to the Super Six (NCAA finals) in 2 of her 3 seasons at the helm. She still hasn't finished higher than 5th in that time, however. For a program that (rightly) considers itself the "Alabama football of women's gymnastics," even these relatively heady results are unacceptable.

- Scott Stricklin, 2013, Baseball (Record: 52-57-1): Up until yesterday, 2013 had been the highest-profile year for Greg McGarity in making coaching changes in major UGA athletic programs. After the previously-mentioned Gym Dogs change, Scott Stricklin was brought in to provide a new momentum for a UGA baseball program that was widely seen as going into decline after a sustained spate of success. And so far, Stricklin has indeed been providing a resurgent momentum... downward.

- Billy Lesesne, 2015, Women's Soccer (Record: 5-12-1): This is Lesesne's first head coaching gig after being a longtime assistant at Duke, so I guess we shouldn't judge him by his first season. But still... that ain't good.

- Joni Taylor, 2015, Women's Basketball (Record: 5-1): Far too early to tell on this one. I hope Coach Taylor is wildly successful and takes the Lady Dogs back to multiple Final Fours like Andy Landers did at his peak, but this is the stereotypical "hire the legendary coach's top assistant" pick. I'm skeptical until proven otherwise, simply because of the situation.

- Petros Kyprianou, 2015, Track and Field (Record: None): Obviously, no data yet on this one, as the Track & Field season hasn't started yet this year. Coach Kyprianou was a longtime assistant of previous head coach Wayne Norton, however, and has had a very solid track record (no pun intended) as an assistant.

During his 5-year tenure, Greg McGarity has fired the following head coaches:

(again, in chronological order)

- Joel McCartney, 2010, Women's Volleyball: I gotta be honest, I know nothing about Joel McCartney, other than the fact that he was hired by Damon Evans, and his tenure at Georgia was barely mediocre and entirely forgettable.

- Kelly Hester, 2012, Women's Golf: Coach Hester was a former Bulldog player who just didn't pan out as the head coach. She was a Damon Evans hire, though it's worth noting that the man who replaced her (Josh Brewer) hasn't been getting any better results.

- Jay Clark, 2013, Women's Gymnastics: I believe Clark had the dubious distinction of being Damon Evans' last hire at Georgia... and dang, what a doozy that one was. Clark said all the wrong things and did all the wrong things after taking over from living Bulldog legend Suzanne Yoculan, and it didn't take a genius to realize he needed to go after just 3 years as the head man.

- David Perno, 2013, Baseball: David Perno had built a great track record at the head of the oldest varsity program in Athens before he was relieved of his duties, but this was a little bit of a unique situation, and one for which McGarity might be given a pass. I have acquaintances who knew Coach Perno personally, and by all accounts, he was, for lack of a better phrase, just getting burned out. In a span of 3 years, two of his players, Johnathan Taylor and Chance Veazey, had been severely injured and paralyzed, Taylor in an on-field collision, and Veazey in an off-field scooter accident. Whether it was the personal toll of these thigns combined with the simple stress of coaching 11 years in Athens, who knows. But by all accounts I've heard, Perno gave McGarity little choice in the matter on this one.

- Steve Holeman, 2015, Women's soccer: Holeman, also a late-era Damon Evans hire, came in with a great resume and lots of promise. UGA never finished better than 4th in the East, though, in his 5 seasons. He did only have 1 losing season, though... and it wasn't nearly as bad as the 2015 stinker turned in by his McGarity-picked replacement.

- Wayne Norton, 2015, Track and Field: Coach Norton had been the head man in Athens since 2000 and an assistant before that since 1990, so he had been a Dooley hire. I admit that I don't follow UGA Track & Field very closely, but I presume he was fired for a recent dip in results.

- Andy Landers, 2015 (kind of), Women's Basketball: No one really knows if Andy Landers just decided to retire or if McGarity "helped" him decide, but it was clear that Landers was way past his prime and unlikely ever to make it back to the big-time. As a man who has stated many times that he's not afraid of making the "tough decisions," though, McGarity took his sweet time about pushing Landers out the door. It was clear Landers was done from the moment McGarity set foot on campus in 2010, and he still waited the guy out for 4 more seasons.  And from his actions over the past 24 hours, we know McGarity ain't afraid of pissing off the entire fanbase and present and former players. So what took you so long, Greg?

- Mark Richt, 2015, Football: Led Georgia to its first SEC championship in 20 years, but his last championship was 10 years ago, and he'd been slipping pretty badly. He was clearly past his prime, as we saw when his team from 3 years ago was stopped 5 yards shy of making the national championship game, and when the two separate Heisman-quality running backs on his last two teams were both taken out either by injury or the NCAA (or first one, then the other). Yeah. Clearly past his prime. Never was gonna get his groove back, that guy.

So, to sum up the quantitative section:

- Only one of Greg McGarity's hires as AD has been appreciably better than the coach he fired (Durante). And one hire has, so far, been appreciably worse (Lesesne). Call that category a push.

- The only athletic programs to win SEC or national championships during Greg McGarity's tenure were programs whose coaches have been here since Vince Dooley era. Greg McGarity has, quite literally, been winning championships with Vince Dooley's coaches. Give McGarity credit for getting out of their way, I guess, but he hasn't improved the situation anywhere else, which is precisely what the "Jeremy Foley disciple" was hired to do. That counts as a negative mark on his record.

- As an overall athletic department, Georgia's level of achievement, as measured by the annual Director's Cup standings, has continued to stagnate at the bottom of the historical range in which we've operated. As McGarity himself would should tell you, Georgia's goal is not to stagnate. Georgia's goal, as an athletic department, is to continue to improve, and to return to the perennial top-10 status which we previously held for more than a decade. This is a significant negative mark on McGarity's record.

So based solely on the quantitative measurements, Greg McGarity's record as athletic director is decidedly poor. Now let's move to the next section: the qualitative review.

The Qualitative Review

This section will necessarily be more subjective and open to debate, and in my opinion should generally hold less sway over a judgement on a person's job, unless specific mitigating circumstances call for special consideration. But I'll get to that in a moment.

First, let's discuss the qualitative side of the capital improvements I mentioned above:

- Foley Field - I discussed the technical details of the Foley Field renovation debacle above, but there are a few additional qualitative points that I need to make, as well.  McGarity has practically guaranteed that our once-great baseball program will remain mired in mediocrity for the foreseeable future by dumping a truckload of cash into a facility that's still at least a decade behind the rest of the SEC.  Foley Field is a fun place to watch a baseball game, but McGarity can't possibly be as naive as he seems at first glance here.

A 3,000-seat facility is pathetically small for a major college program. We've even got 500 fewer seats than Vanderbilt, for pete's sake, and though they're a great program, they don't exactly have the largest following in the SEC. Other SEC baseball powers like LSU and Mississippi State have stadiums that seat 10,000+ spectators. Georgia has the potential to have just as big a fanbase as those programs, so why shouldn't we have a stadium at least 50% as large as theirs? It's great to make UGA fans excited about baseball by giving them a winning team again, but how does that matter if there's no space for them to actually, you know, watch the game?

The answer is that Foley Field's available real estate footprint is far too small for such a stadium. You'd need to build a completely new stadium to get that scale. And to get that kind of land, you'd have to go down Milledge Road, probably somewhere near the current Softball and Soccer complex. But Greg McGarity apparently won't even entertain the thought of such a move. Is he scared that fans simply won't travel the unconscionable distance of 4 additional miles to go to a brand new, state-of-the-art stadium with adequate parking facilities? And that point is moot now, since McGarity just sunk 12 million dollars into putting lipstick on the old pig, so he damn sure isn't going to pony up dough for a brand new facility anytime soon. So we're stuck with a subpar stadium for a subpar program, and an athletic director that seems to like it that way.

- The football indoor practice facility (IPF) - And speaking of half-ass construction projects that inevitably prove to be money simply poured down a drain... let's discuss the process of getting the long awaited IPF, for which the groundbreaking will soon begin. For some reason, when the project to build an IPF was first seriously considered about 10 years ago, some genius (admittedly, not Greg McGarity) decided that instead of building a real IPF, we'd build the crappy little Nalley Multipurpose Facility as part of an expansion of the football offices and weight room in Butts-Mehre for about $30M. (The Nalley Multipurpose Facility is that little half-field thing that, essentially, serves absolutely no useful purpose in situations like inclement weather when you need a real IPF.) This project was just finishing up as McGarity rolled onto the scene in 2010, and nothing more was ever (publicly) said or done about the insanely bad business decision made a few years prior.

Then, when Jeremy Pruitt was hired away from FSU to become our defensive coordinator, he waged an exceptional public PR battle against Greg McGarity, essentially bullying him into making good on the literal decades of unfulfilled promises for an IPF dating all the way back to the Donnan era. So now, after the crappy half-field Nalley facility has been around for about 5 years, it's about to be torn down, and a real IPF built in its place. And not only that, but McGarity has been (figuratively) dragged kicking and screaming the whole way. (And if you believe that Greg McGarity is a vindictive, tyrannical egomaniac, as I'm starting to fully believe, that is why you will understand that if it's up to McGarity, Jeremy Pruitt will absolutely not be Georgia's DC next year, no matter who the head coach is.)

For all his newfound trumping about his investment in Georgia's facilities, Greg McGarity has had to be dragged along towards major improvements. He has not been a leader in those improvements, and based on the track record we've seen thus far, he likely never will be.

Second, let's discuss something that's critically important to a modern athletic department: online presence and social media

There's no room to mince words here: The UGA athletic department's online business strategy, if it even has one, is awful. The official website is a visual mess, it's difficult to navigate, it's relatively slow to load in general, and most useful information that fans would be going there to find isn't readily available. For example, where is the link that would tell the casual visitor that the website is the place they should go to find out where in the hell one can actually park on a UGA gameday?

And don't get me started on the ticketing page.  It's contracted out to a company named Spectra (formerly Paciolan, formerly evenue), and for years, that website was so slow that it was effectively unusable.  When I would call the ticket office, as I was forced to do many times because the DAMN WEBSITE WAS UNUSABLE, I would constantly complain that the website was horrible, and I was universally met with the, "I know, I'm sorry" response. At some point in the last 18-24 months, that site at least got to the point where you could click on it and not have to wait a full minute (or more) for the page to display, but the design of the site is still abysmal. If you're not someone that has been raised in the "digital age" like me, and most of our longtime season ticket holders aren't, then you'd be completely lost when trying to find something like a postseason ticket request form, which is buried beneath a hard-to-find login page and another almost-hidden menu after you log in. For most of the oldest and most loyal fans, their best, fastest solution is "call the athletic department."  Guys, this is 2015. We shouldn't have to pick up a damn phone to order tickets, and it damn sure shouldn't be able to be described as the "fastest option."

And try to find a PDF of any of our media guides from any sport at the UGA website.  No, I'll wait.  Just go ahead and try to find one.

On the flip side of this equation, contrast this to the video productions that we see on the internet and on the Sanford Stadium and Stegeman Coliseum video boards.  And our social media presences on Twitter and Facebook. Our video and social media interactions have generally been exceptionally well done recently, and they've gotten that way by steadily improving over the last 2 or 3 years to the point where they're actually very impressive at times.

What has Greg McGarity been doing to improve our social media presence, or to improving the experience that both longtime, dedicated fans and casual fans get when they visit our website? I'm 99% certain the answer to both questions is, "Nothing," which is a big reason why our online experiences are so vastly irregular. It's true that the AD can't personally fix every problem you have, but his job is to have a plan, and to have trusted people on his staff who can execute that plan. I'm not confident that Greg McGarity has either.

Third, let's discuss a circumstance meriting special consideration, which has just arisen in the last 12 hours (as of this writing)

Greg McGarity has never been an especially "media-friendly" person, and he got this from his longtime mentor and Gator pal Jeremy Foley. It seems at times that if McGarity had his way, he'd never have to see or interact with any media personnel at all, except in controlled, isolated settings. And in spite of me not liking that fact, there's a way to do that while still being relatively media-savvy. (See, Belichik, Bill. And for that matter, Foley, Jeremy.) Greg McGarity has exactly zero-point-zero media savvy. Remember a little over a year ago, in the midst of Gurley-autograph-gate, when McGarity's athletic department suddenly announced out of nowhere that there would be a statement forthcoming on the Gurley situation in an hour?  And when the appointed time arrived... the statement was that they had no statement. In fact, the NCAA's own twitter feed gave us more information about the situation than our own athletic department did. Then, the next week - the bye week before the Florida game - McGarity's team announced that they were submitting the paperwork for Gurley's immediate reinstatement... only to be told three days before the game that, LOLNO, Gurley would be out until Auburn.

In light of that colossal screw-up, perhaps I should not have been surprised that what transpired on Sunday night, and seemingly caught everyone, even the assembled media completely off-guard.

After the world found out that Mark Richt had been fired as head football coach, a small crowd of, at maximum count, about 7 people showed up to the Butts-Mehre building with signs supporting Mark Richt and calling for McGarity's ouster.

In response, Greg McGarity, with his usual calm, collected, media-savvy, reasonable response attitude, called up some rent-a-goons to patrol access to the Butts-Mehre facility.

And then, as Seth Emerson recounted in this article after the players' meeting with Coach Richt at 8:00 PM, this happened:


Congratulations, Greg McGarity.  You managed to take a calm gathering of a few fans who were sad and angry that Mark Richt was fired and turn it into your own personal version of media-bullying, player-handling North Korea in Athens, GA. I'm sure there is a way you could have more grossly mishandled this, the biggest hiring/firing decision of your career at Georgia... but I'm struggling to think of what that hypothetical scenario would have looked like.

So, to sum up the Qualitative Review:

Look, hiring an athletic director is kind of like hiring a strength and conditioning coach: average Joes like you and me probably don't really understand what goes into that selection process, or what is involved in the day-to-day aspect of the job.  If I were asked to hire someone to be an AD, I'd have no faith that I'd make a hire that was any better than the worst AD out there. I do think I can recognize a bad AD when I see one, however. And when I see Greg McGarity, I see an inadequate, overbearing, overly-secretive, tone-deaf administrator who has completely lost touch with reality.

Finally, to sum it all up (TL;DR):

From a quantitative point of view, I don't see how anybody can analyze the facts and come to the conclusion that Greg McGarity is an athletic director worthy of running a major athletic program the size of that at Georgia.  From a qualitative point of view, I think I can recognize a crap AD hire when I see one, and in retrospect, this looks to me like a crap AD hire.

Greg McGarity has stated before that he's a big believer in Jeremy Foley's well-known management maxim: "What should be done eventually must be done immediately." Well, Greg, I have become convinced by a preponderance of the evidence that it's probably not going to work out for us to have you here. And since what should be done eventually must be done immediately, you need to get out. Now. We'll pack your things for you and ship them to your house, but for now, we brought up a couple of those security guys from the lobby. They're going to help you find your way to the door. Don't let it hit you in the hindquarters on the way out.