Your Week 10 College Football TV Schedule* >>> CLICK HERE!!!
I thought about just not bothering this week. After all, that seems to be the thing to do if the coaching staff in Athens is any indication. Then I remembered that I'm contractually obligated to create these things. Well... I assume I'm contractually obligated. I don't remember signing anything but I've been experimenting with a wide variety of mood-altering substances lately in my quest to kill the pain college football has inflicted upon me, so...
Anyway, better to be safe than sorry, so here it is.
This week we get started earlier than usual with a Tuesday and Wednesday night game. While I'm not sure I'd spend my spare time watching these, perhaps you can find some interesting narratives... for instance, will Toledo's Matt Campbell be the next head coach at Georgia or one of its rivals? Tune in Tuesday night to see him in action. There are some other games of interest as well and here they are:
So yeah, Matt Campbell is gonna be a head coach somewhere larger real soon. That is the only reason I can muster to watch this game. Toledo seems pretty good and Northern Illinois has been pretty decent. Maybe this is what I need. Maybe I need to watch a game where I don't care what happens and can just enjoy the simplicity of football itself. Emotionally detached isn't such a bad way to go through life. But see, at some point in the game, I'll unconsciously pick a side... and at this point that side will spontaneously combust.
See all that stuff I just wrote for the Tuesday night game? Replace Matt Campbell with Dino Babers, Toledo with Bowling Green, and Northern Illinois with Ohio. That's Wednesday.
Well this should be a nice blowout. Suggestion: Get a bottle of Golden Grain. Take a shot for every point Baylor scores. You won't have to worry about how the Dawgs will play Saturday.
So you remember that stuff I wrote for Tuesday and Wednesday? Replace Matt Campbell and Dino Babers with Matt Rhule, Toledo and Bowling Green with Temple, and Northern Illinois and Ohio with SMU. That's Friday... except... no wait... I don't know what SMU is doing on the field, but it isn't playing football. My apologies to Northern Illinois and Ohio. Temple is gonna crush SMU.
I fully expect this to be an absolute disaster. And that's not pessimism. It's realism. Wake up and smell the meltdown people!
Drink early. Drink often. But don't drink and blog. It always ends badly.
AND THAT'S WHEN I STOP WATCHING
The following are the reasons why I'll quit watching football after (or during) the Georgia game:
1) Its hard to watch football when you yank the cable out of the wall.
2) Its hard to watch football when you throw your TV off an overpass.
3) Its hard to watch football when you've blinded yourself with an ice pick.
For those of you that retain your sanity, I'm told there are other games. These are they:
And then there is some Pac-12 garbage I wouldn't care about even if I did still like college football.
That's all for this week folks. Until next time...
GOOOO DAWGS!!! (He futilely shouted into the abyss, knowing his plea would go unanswered)
* Rankings have not been included because they suck. The people who invented them suck. The people who vote on them suck. And the teams that are ranked suck (not as much as the teams that aren't, but still). In short, everything is awful and everything sucks. Here... allow me to express my feelings through song (NSFW):