Your Week 8 College Football TV Schedule >>> CLICK HERE!!!
Normally, in this space, I talk to you about the college football games I think are worthy of your time. To quote Monty Python, "And now for something completely different!"
Over the past several weeks, I've thought long and hard about just skipping college football altogether. A combination of malaise at the fortunes of our Georgia Bulldogs and the fact that said Bulldogs have my sanity teetering just this side of Sylvia Plath has brought me to the conclusion that I need a break. Yet, somehow, the allure of the Dawgs brings me back again and again (for no reason that I can possibly justify). No such problem exists this week, folks!
I am here to advocate, plainly and simply, that you find something better to do with your time this weekend. Mow your lawn, go see a movie, videotape a plastic bag fluttering in the the wind and idiotically philosophize about the meaning of life. And don't worry, come next week you'll still have plenty of depressing and abysmal football to maintain your codependent relationship with the sport.
My Saturday currently sets up as follows:
1) Wake up in the fetal position crying into my pillow (as I've done every morning for the last 3 weeks).
2) Make breakfast for the kids.
3) Stare longingly at my pre-purchased Star Wars Episode VII tickets.
4) Start up the grill and cook assorted meats (Hey, just because we're giving up football for a week doesn't mean we have to lose our humanity).
5) Enjoy the "fruits" of my labor.
6) Go to the store and buy a couple of pumpkins (one of which will be carved in the shape of Jim McElwain's teeth).
6) Get around to all that yard work I've been neglecting since teenagers started tossing around that dang oblong ball.
7) Enjoy a frosty beverage before returning to my yard work.
8) Play a non-sports related video game with the kiddos.
9) Enjoy more of the stuff I grilled earlier.
10) Get to bed early for once.
See? That wasn't hard. And I just know the sense of accomplishment I'll have after such a day will be infinitely better for my state of mind than watching more teams that aren't Georgia perform as they should.
Feel free to sound off in the comments as to what you'll be doing this weekend. And if the answer is "watching college football".... don't say I didn't warn you.
So yeah, next week we have the Florida Gators. But for now, #TheHateCanWait.
* If you simply must watch football this weekend, click away at the schedule above.... then get some willpower!