YOUR WEEK 7 COLLEGE FOOTBALL TV SCHEDULE*>>>
Perhaps its because I have small children and Halloween is approaching, Maybe its because I'm longing for the sense of childlike wonder and belief that college football has sucked from my soul. Perhaps delirium is slowly setting in as the combination of Mr. Boston and Quaaludes takes effect. Whatever the cause, I've been watching a lot of "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown" the last few days. I honestly can't think of a better metaphor for this season (or any other season).
The list of similarities is really pretty uncanny. Our rivals get their shiny trophies and we always get a rock. Promises are made and then the football always gets pulled away because (apparently) someone, somewhere likes seeing us suffer when we fall flat on our back. We talk about how amazing everything is going to be as everyone mocks us because, they know, come the end of October we'll have nothing to show for it. And ultimately after all the disappointment and embarrassment of an empty pumpkin patch, there we are... sounding Linus van Pelt's inevitable response: "Just wait 'til next year, Charlie Brown. You'll see! Next year at this same time, I'll find a pumpkin patch that's real sincere!"
Sure you will, Linus. Sure you will.
Auburn Tigers @ Kentucky Wildcats, 7:00 pm ESPN
Tune in for Kentucky's continuing march to the SEC Eastern Division Crown. Let that sink in for a second and then remember it next pre-season when the media says its gonna be Georgia. Its not.
Cincinnati Bearcats @ BYU Cougars, 8:00 pm ESPN
I guess? I mean, watch this game if you want... I'll be out playing a real life version of Frogger in downtown Athens.
Pittsburgh Panthers @ Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets, 12:30 pm ACCNetwork
You should never root for a rival to continue its downward spiral to make yourself feel better... that's what they do. You can, however, watch this game... safe in the knowledge that it won't make you feel any worse.
Alabama Crimson Tide @ Texas A&M Aggies, 3:30 pm CBS
Why would you do this to yourself? I mean honestly? How are you going to derive any pleasure from watching this game? Or from listening to the inane ramblings of two incompetent twits? I don't know how many times I'd shout "Shut up, Gary!" during this one. I am sure, however, that I would surpass the number of functioning brain cells left in Verne Lundquist's bulbous head by the end of the 1st quarter.
Missouri Tigers @ Georgia Bulldogs, 7:30 pm SECNetwork
Join me, won't you, as we bash our collective heads into the wall over and over hoping for a breakthrough to the success we believe we so richly deserve. The breakthrough won't come, but lucky for us there's a consolation prize: a 4-3 record and the sweet relief of unconsciousness.
Arizona State Sun Devils @ Utah Utes, 10:00 pm ESPN
Oregon Ducks @ Washington Huskies, 10:30 pm ESPN2
Should you prematurely regain consciousness, put yourself back out by watching some Pac-12 football. You know, that or a ball-peen hammer.
That's it. Enjoy(?) your weekend....
*(Note: As usual, this week's schedule contains no rankings... because rankings are for closers.)