As you may have noticed, around here we don't particularly care for Auburn. We each have our own reasons, sure. Some of us had water hoses turned on us on a bitterly cold night. Some of us have an insufferable cousin who couldn't have gotten into the flagship university of the Empire State of the South if you gave him a map, a crowbar, and some pictures of the Dean in the Dean's wife's underwear in front of Terrell Hall, wound up at a college on the outskirts of Opelika, and convinced himself that was where he wanted to go all along. Some of us however just hate to see the bad guys win.
And make no mistake, the history of Abuurn football is replete with bad behavior, bad behavior often rewarded with wins on the football field. Make no mistake, friend:if Auburn is winnin', Auburn is cheatin'.
I think that's why Auburn is second only to Florida on my list of teams who I truly hate for Georgia to lose to. Somewhere in a part of my brain that never really developed past my fourth birthday, losing to Auburn activates the part of me that never really got over watching people get away with stuff. Auburn is the kid who takes 3 extra mini-Snickers bars from the bowl at Halloween when the sweet old lady passing them out is distracted. Their excuse, more often than not, is that everyone else is doing it, and if they aren't then they're chumps because "WAR EAGLE FAMILY! ALL IN! MAMA PASS MY PALL MALLS!!!!" And their fanbase and alumni, even the famous ones who sit on boards and get trotted out to waive to the crowd and have plaques on campus are 100% unapologetic, even proud of it.
That's what this game is about to me. Sure it's about history, and cross-pollination, and damned good football. But more than anything, it's about beating those cheaters so they don't get the satisfaction of getting away with it. Again.
So before this weekend's game I'll be getting into the spirit to play the WarPlainsTigerBagMen by enjoying a couple of . .. Cheatin' Bastards. Like all good Auburn scams it requires breaking the rules just a little and getting a huge reward for the effort. In this case I break my embargo on flavored whiskey, which I believe to be a crime against mixology, starting with 2 ounces of Crown Royal Regal Apple-Flavored Whiskey. Add to that 2 dashes of bitters and 1 ounce of ginger liqueur then top these with 4 ounces of hot apple cider. Enjoy. Just don't get caught.
Feel free to use this as your open comment thread for tonight's games between THE Eastern Carolina University and a team coached by this good-looking fella. . . .
And for the 9:00 eastern game between USC and Cal. Until later . . .