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HATE WEEK 2014: Time for Action

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Let's get one thing straight: I hate Florida. It's not just a simple dislike, a harmonious discord, or even a deep, latent enmity. I hate Florida with the fire of a thousand suns being fueled by the fire of an additional thousand suns. In a world where my choices were to cheer for Florida or go blind, I'd start learning Braille. Most of the time, however, I am (relatively) civil while expressing this intense Gator hatred. For one week a year, though, I allow my hate to come out of the closet and be displayed in its raw, unfiltered form. This is that week.

Scott Cunningham

Good Friday morning, Dawg fans.  Well, we suspected that the chance of UGA's appeal for Todd Gurley's early reinstatement was somewhere between "none" and "LOL GTFO," and we were right. To be completely honest, though, that just doesn't matter now. Now we have to come together and focus our hatred on one point: Everbank Field in Jacksonville, Florida, 24 hours hence.

If you're like me, though, those last 24 hours can be some of the slowest hours you experience all year long.  So, if you'd like some additional reading material, I'd like to point you to some of the work of which I'm most proud of ever creating at Dawg Sports:  my 2012 Hate Week montage.  If you'll remember, 2012 was the one season in Will Muschamp's head coaching career in which the Gators were... you know, good... and they were undefeated and ranked #2 in the country coming into the Cocktail Party.  And as the usual pessimist that I was (and am), I was feeling suitably biblical about our possibilities in JAX that year.  So I started with (Bulldog) Genesis, moved on to Exodus and Numbers, and finally concluded with the Acts of the Dawgpostles and an apocalyptic Revelation tale (for which I was suitably chastised by the "higher power" in the Bulldog nation... Uga IX and Jarvis Jones, obviously).

To conclude my annual series this year on spiting the Sunshine State Saurians, however, I'd like to provide an official Vineyarddawg-approved® guide on the recommended treatment the Florida Gators. (Take note, football players!)

I could write 2,000 words on the topic, but I'm a firm believer in the axiom that a picture is worth a thousand words*. And if a picture is worth a thousand words, well, then a series of videos must be worth... well, must be worth posting, at any rate!

* - This axiom does not apply to the Right Honorable Mayor Emeritus Kyle Weblog, whose conversion rate is somewhat... well, let's just say, "less concise."

First, my own dog sets the example:

Next, the beacon is picked up by the internet at large:

And finally, another internet poster shows his dog reenacting the Georgia Florida game from 1942:

And now... it's time, folks.  We can't worry about Gurley.  It's time to worry about the Florida Gators.  We've got the team, we've got the coaches, and we're likely going to have the edge in the stands, as well. It's time to put a biblical-level beatdown on the Sunshine State Saurians. Let 'em know we're still the boss in Jacksonville.  With extreme prejudice.

Be safe, everybody. I'll see y'all on the other side.

Go Dawgs!  Beat Florida!