Ed. Note: Any time you see the phrase "Florida" or "Florida Gators" in the article below, please also add "and the stupid, slow-as-hell NCAA" to that phrase in your mind. Thank you.
Good evening, Dawg fans. IT IS TIME.
This is the week that is circled all year on my calendar. The week when the loyal denizens of the University of Georgia Bulldogs make the trek to our lone outpost in enemy territory to the south and meet the fans of that dark power known as the University of Florida Gators. On Saturday, our teams will be locked in mortal
beatdown combat on the banks of the St. John's River in Jacksonville. Until that time 6 days hence, it is our job to prepare the way for the men who now wear the Red and Black by being locked in the throes of borderline-mortal alcohol consumption, partying, and HATE.
We have another rivalry during football season that we have named Clean Old-Fashioned Hate, and that's all well and good. This week, however, isn't clean, and it isn't old-fashioned (though it is a tradition going back to 1904). It's just HATE. Dirty, stinkin', drankin', sweatin'... HATE. Even when they're having the worst season they've seen since... well, since last year, I still hate the Florida Gators with the fire of a thousand suns being fueled by the fire of an additional thousand suns.
I eagerly encourage all of you loyal Dawg fans out there to post your paeans to Saurian scorn as FanPosts and/or FanShots this week, and we'll be promoting the most deserving to top-page status. (Hell, I might just promote 'em all. I just hate Florida that much.)
This is Florida week. This is the World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party week. THIS IS HATE WEEK. Therefore, I'm letting the following people know that, for Hate Week, 2014, You're On Notice, Dawg!
What? You expected something from me other than intense, irrational hatred on a week like this? This week is not a time to be rational. It's not a time to be "even-handed." It's not a time to feel bad for a program that has been a tire-fire for two years, and for whom their head coach's end is in sight.
As I usually do during HATE WEEK (yes, I'm doing it in all caps all week, no you shut up I HATE FLORIDA), I will be providing daily snippets of hate to help get us primed and ready to meet the Gators down in Jacksonville. I look forward to seeing what the rest of Dawg Nation will come up with, as well. Here's a little bit of advice from history to get y'all started.