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Instantaneous Utterly Uninformed Roundball Wrapup

Georgia played Missouri in Basketball tonight. We were not victorious. You're informed.

See that Soccer Net thing & the Orange ball next to it??? Yup, Basket + Ball.
See that Soccer Net thing & the Orange ball next to it??? Yup, Basket + Ball.

So for the last few seasons it has been the Mayor's task to bring you the Instantaneous Ill-Informed Roundball Wrap-up upon the conclusion of at least some of the Georgia Men's Basketball Games. Our beloved Mayor claims to be utterly ill-informed about such athletic contests. I, however, am truly, completely and Utterly Uninformed about such games. The Mayor has forgotten more than I have ever known about this sport. So I cannot bring you so much as an Ill-Informed Wrap-up. Instead, you'll have to suffer with my Utterly Uninformed Roundball Wrapup tonight.

It goes like this: Apparently a whole passel of young men who are very tall and enrolled students at the fine institution we all know and love, put on shorts & t-shirts and head to Stegeman to run back & forth inside on the court (it's kind of like an indoor practice football field, but there's no grass, the use a very polished wooden floor instead.) Whilst they are running, they have this rather large round orange colored (BLECH!) ball that they attempt to throw into the air in such a way that it goes through this thing they call a basket, which is really just a metal circle that's bolted to a backstop thing and from which they hang a rope that's strategically knotted to form something that more closely resembles a soccer net, but they call it a basket. This basket doesn't actually hold anything so I have no idea why they call it a basket, but the big orange ball can't fit through the sides and so must fall downward through it. Thus you have a basket & a ball and so the game is called basketball (no, seriously, that is how the game was named, I read it on the interwebz so you know it's a fact!)

If wikipedia informs me correctly this sport was created & devised somewhere up north (Massachusetts) because someone wanted a game that could be played in the darkest, coldest times of the year (you know - winter) so they wouldn't be bored when football season ended & baseball season had not yet begun. This was prior to the days of true spring training for baseball (1891-ish) and so those who enjoy sports were quite bereft.

The first game was played with two peach baskets (though where they found those in Massachusetts is really beyond the comprehension of this author) and a soccer ball. Yes, even communist football is older than basketball. If the game still hand only the 13 rules devised at it's founding, I might be able to understand it. As it stands today, there's so many rules and the game goes so fast, my football & baseball mind simply can't keep up.

I tried a few seasons ago to learn the game. I really did. And a number of folks in our Dawg Sports community did their dead level best to teach me. They were unfailingly patient with my simple brain. Explaining the same thing over and over the way you might to a small, small child. But sadly, my brain only has room to understand a few sports, and that room is take up with Football & Baseball. There simply isn't room for a made up yankee sport played indoors in the dead of winter that's only half a football game (no seriously, they play for 30 min & we play for 60, I read that one in the game thread!) Sorry y'all. I hold no ill-will towards those who enjoy or even love the game. I just flat don't get it myownself.

So now that I've told you absolutely everything I know about basketball, I bring you the results of today's contest. We lost, they won. They scored 79 points, we scored 62 points.

If it makes you feel any better, Tech will probably lose to Duke tomorrow (because Duke's ranked #3 and Tech isn't ranked) and really, in the SEC Kentucky is the basketball school (okay and sometimes Florida is as well which makes absolutely no sense but it's apparently true.)

Is it at least baseball season yet?