Dear Coach Richt,
I write to you today as a Peach State native, two-time University of Georgia graduate, lifelong Bulldog fan, and football season ticket holder. I am an ardent and vocal supporter of your leadership of the Georgia football program, and, as both an alumnus and a father, I am proud to be able to take my son with me to Sanford Stadium on Saturdays, confident that you are a good coach and a better man. However, I am writing this open letter to you because I believe you are on the verge of making a grievous error, which I would caution you not to make.
I refer, of course, to your goatee.
Although your players, and all of Bulldog Nation, are inspired by your facial hair, it has been reported in reputable media outlets that you intend to shave it before the season starts. However, as even our rivals are aware, the combination of Mark Richt and facial hair is a portent of doom for all who dare to oppose the Red and Black.
Coach Richt, I implore you not to shave your goatee! As a man of faith, you surely are familiar with the Biblical story of Samson from the Book of Judges, so you are well aware of the possibility of a man seeing his strength diminished by having his locks shorn. If that does not sway you, though, surely this will:
Short of Nick Saban clocking you over the head with a skull---which would seem extreme, even for him---I believe that could be you, at least metaphorically, taking it to all of the Bulldogs’ rivals.
If you insist upon shaving your goatee, however, I would urge you to use it as a motivational ploy. Vince Dooley promised the 1976 Georgia squad that he would shave his head if the Bulldogs won the SEC and beat Georgia Tech. They did, then he did. If you don’t want to make the goatee a permanent fixture on your face, promise the 2012 Bulldogs that, if they defeat every major rival on this year’s slate and win the SEC Championship Game, you will shave your goatee after the bowl game. I promise you the facial hair will look good while you hoist the crystal football.
The grey beard is the new blackout. Keep it, and good things will follow.
Go ‘Dawgs! Go, you silver whiskers!
Sincerely,
T. Kyle King