clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

The Game of SEC Thrones

As are many, I am excited about the upcoming premiere of Season 2 of the HBO series Game of Thrones. Apparently, though, unlike many, I have already read most of the books from which the series is taken. (I'm currently about 20% through Book 5, A Dance with Dragons, which is the most recent book released.) As such, I'll try to avoid any spoilers in the following post. (Update: Anything that happened in Season 1, however, is totally fair game.)

I was recently thinking about how closely many of our current SEC coaches actually resemble certain characters in the Game of Thrones universe, however. As a result, I decided to put together a compendium of how each SEC coach would map into the universe created by George R. R. Martin (and, of course, HBO).

And he died in Season 1. So nobody is him, obviously. (This picture has been lawya'd)

So, first, let's get the obvious one out of the way...

(This picture has been lawya'd)

- Nick Saban - Tyrion Lannister (The Imp) - Do I really need to explain this one? Pretty smart, crafty, likes to follow his "process." Has a talent for survival. Everybody hates him, though he probably deserves some grudging respect.

- Derek Dooley - Robert Arryn (Boy-Lord of the Vale) - His home is way the heck up in the mountains. Mama's boy who can't seem to stop his mama from defending him, even though he's practically a grown man (or, well, should be, at least). Secretly, he doesn't really want to stop her. Also, he wants to see the little man fly (but he never gets to).

- Mark Richt - Robb Stark (King in the North... Georgia, for Richt) - Nice, honorable guy, right? Seems to be winning all of the important battles, yet he's still managing to somehow seemingly be losing the war. HE'S A MEDIOCRE COMMANDER, PPAAAAWWWWWWLLLL

- Will Muschamp - Balon Greyjoy (Lord of the Iron Isles/Pyke) - He always seems to be mad at something. His people were great for a time, then they got knocked back down to Earth for a while. Now, though, he's prepared to lead them back to great victories... Maybe. (Also, everybody hates them.)

- Les Miles - Walder Frey (Lord of the Twins) - Just flat-out crazy, and many of his own people don't even like him. Yet, he manages to hold one of the most strategic positions in the entire world with success. You just know Les Miles has a huge harem, too, and names all of his kids "Leslie" or "Lester" depending on their gender. Bad with clock management (the "late" Lord Frey).

- Steve Spurrier - Tywin Lannister (Head of the Lannisters, Lord of Casterly Rock) - Older than most everybody else, and has built himself into a legend over time. He still has a constant chip on his shoulder and the need to destroy anyone that gets in his path, though. Can't seem to quite do it with complete success... but he wins a lot more than he loses.

Go on. Say somethin' clever there, Mr. Cleverpants. (This picture has been lawya'd)

- Bobby Petrino - Daenerys Targaryen - Leader of a house that was once great, yet now is in exile. Arranged an unholy marriage with an insane, dangerous enemy in hopes of conquering the realm, but doesn't really know how to do that now that s/he's knee deep in the rabble.

- Gene Chizik - King Joffrey - He's basically a pawn in a much larger game, but he's not bright enough to figure that out. He just wants to JOFF/CHIZ SMASH. His master of coin is the one that really has all the money and much of the power, but he hasn't figured that out, either. Oh, and everybody hates him, too.

- Dan Mullen - Bran Stark (Heir to Winterfell)- Liked to climb up above his natural position, but has gotten smacked down by the "have's" of the world. Still doesn't want to admit it, though.

- Kevin Sumlin - King Stannis Baratheon - Has had some minor success in the past, so now he's leader of his very own house. Nobody really knows what he's going to do. He does have some really weird people around him with some really odd traditions, though.

- James Franklin - Varys (the Spider) - Thinks he knows everything. Loves to bitch. Can't really do anything about it, though. Is a eunuch. The similarities are striking.

And they're both bald, too. It's uncanny! (This picture has been lawya'd)

- Hugh Freeze - Hoster Tully (Lord of Riverrun, Catelyn Stark's father) - Dude, he's a nice guy and all, but he's positioned right there in the middle of all his enemies. He's surrounded, outmanned, and outgunned.

- Gary Pinkel - Lord Commander Jeor Mormont (The Wall) - Is guarding the realm against a mysterious enemy from the North, and doing it with a bunch of kids with suspect talent. Has to do more with less to survive, but manages to do it pretty well.

- Joker Phillips - Doran Martell (Leader of Dorne) - Who? Oh, that's right... they become a formidable opponent when the next season begins.

And with that... comments? Complaints? Daggers in the back? (Please try to avoid spoilers, for those that haven't yet read the books.)

Go Dawgs!