Note: This started out as a semi-periodic e-mail from me to the Dawg Sports contributors with funny search term updates, and we got such a kick out of it that Kyle suggested I turn this into sort of an offseason replacement for "You're On Notice, Dawg." And even though there is a special mid-spring-practice edition of "You're On Notice, Dawg!" coming out tomorrow, I decided to continue posting this week. So... blame him. :-)
(This picture has been lawya'd)
As one might expect, with the level of traffic we regularly receive at Dawg Sports, we show up in a lot of search results. Generally, most of our search-result visitors have entered something fairly predictable, like "Georgia Bulldogs football," "did Georgia win last night," "Why is Michael Adams a disaster," or something like that. (Ok, not that last one. But still.)
And then, we have the outliers. Any comments by me are in (parentheses), and I have excluded all of the NSFW results. (And, what with this being the internet, you would not believe some of the NSFW stuff that manages to bring people to our relatively family-friendly site.) All of the following search terms have been used to reach a page or picture on the dawgsports.com website within the last 7 days:
- license plate rasec 1 meaning
- too much troll
- natural lazy rivers in central florida
- fedex box full of cash
- mind eraser shot (Cocktail Thursday strikes again!)
- sorority girls bar
- queen of zamunda
- i am so glad you're home someone pooped in the hallway
- whats and echedna look like (Hint: They're usually wearing some form of orange or say "ROLL TAHD" a lot.)
- 1 meter ruler (Uh, Nick Saban is the coach at Alabama, not Georgia.)
- cradle someone head
- close up photo of abe lincoln
- high quality daisy dukes
- garfield spring (but was it an odie winter?)
- the party school network
- auburn hammer death
- surrender to succubus
- how hot is mark fox's seat (PHRASING)
- things every georgia peach should know
- 38
- purple range rover 2012
- lazy kittens with red collars
- blues clues thinking chair
- double aa batteries
- Μουσείο Τέχνης του Λιχτενστάιν
- floaties
- playing football is a cause of early period (Wat)
- cowboy hero=lineman
- cash bikini
- 다이아몬드블루 호스 (This means "Blue Diamond Hose" in Korean)
- surprising blind taste test results of 1792 bourbon (Plz to where find 1792 Bourbon?)
- you don't want to wake the dragon, do you?
- disco dance hammurabi!
- list of the class of 2010 waupaca, wi kyle king (IDENTITY THEFT ALERT. Or, possibly, second secret-life alert. Kyle? Is there something you want to tell us?)
- furrowing students
- how to draw homer simpson spider pig
- i hate myself for having unrealistic athletic expectations for my kids abilities
- why do polish woman think they are it (Are they playing tag?)
- be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everyone you meet
- hellhole palms
- georgia bulldog words (Answer: "Winter is coming")
- ? "i'm too drunk to taste this chicken.." ..col sanders what does it mean
From the "How do I Internet" department:
- rantom bulldogs
- would football recruits rather at in the sec than the acc and why?
- harmonot despar blogspot.com
- whose jenn sterger? (Not mine.)
- fact of florida
- free men picture forms and threads
- how many games did bulldogs won
- dwagsprots (GoDwags.jpg)
- chaki chan facebook
- www.throw ball open nation
- what is made 42 years ago
- translate of sport
- what are little girls made of star trek
- i'm allways bord
- ugly v=cats
- tennis for to days
- "risk coach" football what is
From the "Dang, are you in the wrong place" department:
- Peter Crouch jersey
- rainbows,gumdrops,unicorns
- western oregon university stadium
- krushnai water park rides
- black uconn sweatshirts
- quinnipiac bobcats
- Princeton football uniforms
- auburn football uniforms
- auburn 2010 national champ prints
- aaron sanchez tattoos
- mai hamm 16 years old (Why don't you have a seat over there?)
- bikini and "middle age" (shudder)
- fighting irish notre dame leprechaun running out to the field
- intermural sports at western carolina (though I don't know if they have sports played between murals)
- aveage sat score at texas
- 1997 florida marlins
- brooklyn, ny women's swim team in the 1940's (How do you even get here from that?)
- arizona state university logo
- funny chlamydia pictures (I mean, damn, people. Just damn.)
- jacksonville highland games results
- naked usa fans soccer game
- alabama-birmingham blazers logo
- final round masters open to public? (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (breath) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA)
- orange tattoos
And finally, what could be Dawg Sports' new site header:
- butt hurt butt hurt everywhere