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The Dawg Wørd(s): March 24, 2012

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Note: This started out as a semi-periodic e-mail from me to the Dawg Sports contributors with funny search term updates, and we got such a kick out of it that Kyle suggested I turn this into sort of an offseason replacement for "You're On Notice, Dawg." So... blame him. :-)


(This picture has been lawya'd)

As one might expect, with the level of traffic we regularly receive at Dawg Sports, we show up in a lot of search results. Generally, most of our search-result visitors have entered something fairly predictable, like "Georgia Bulldogs football," "did Georgia win last night," "Why is Michael Adams a disaster," or something like that. (Ok, not that last one. But we do get at least 10-15 hits every day on some variation of the phrase "How to stop the Triple Option." Short answer: Be Georgia, and be playing Georgia Tech.)

And then, we have the outliers. Any comments by me are in (parentheses), and I have excluded all of the NSFW results. All of the following search terms have been used to reach a page or picture on the dawgsports.com website within the last 7 days:

- "josephine turck baker" college
- shinny-ninny tennessee tech
- clemson coach picking his nose
- stars in brown sandals 2012
- hate story hot poster (/adjusts tie drawstring on sweatpants)
- i refuse to eat f***ing cantelope at a bachelor party
- awful british food
- i'm a dangling participle
- thug cookie monster
- radioactive mutation
- william nkwame i will praise him
- patton refuses to drink with russian son of a bitch
- echidna pitchers (Don't feed them)
- full length person
- artillery cross cannons
- copy of lewis grizzard birth certificate (What, is he running for President?)
- when i get sad i think of how awesome i am
- why i hate todo list
- the tiger with chlamydia (Now THAT's funny)
- annie dillard "teaching a stone to talk" first essay akiva
- photos - fdr speech to congress - dec. 8, 1941
- knock knock who's there chlamydia
- a black belt is a white belt that never quits
- michael jay fox spin city
- calvin johnson smoked pot
- michigan big dumper
- yahoo want
- really heavy football players
- well played taco bell
- what are two paintings completed during the french revolution (Note: This does not belong in the "Dang are you in the wrong place" department due to the presence of NCT)
- why did the 1966 production of james goldman's the lion in winter flop? (Again... NCT.)
- virginia smells
- bilbo baggins side view picture
- need a wet nap?
- how is football important in history of kentucky (Good question)
- oj simpson trial dave chappelle
- ms akbar 5251979 (I didn't even know he was married, let alone polygamous)
- lets get damn
- florida gators rise as one hide my ass
- is the princeton review's party school rankings flawed? (This is SRS question. I R SRS prospective college student.)
- oh god its morning again pics
- milkshake near

From the "Excuse me?" department:
- herschel shotgun
- russell the wonder muscle
- real tongue tattoo
- eagle vs pterodactyl
- elmo crash
- ocelot live 2012 ("You are looking live...")
- is big12 conference expanding with clemson fsu and georgia tech

From the "How do I Internet" department:
- spots ware desion model
- how does georgia look like
- florida gators birthday
- pitchers of shrek (I don't think Shrek even played baseball)
- mcgyver en home center
- 9 gag problem meme sleep
- face upon stars stormtrooper
- what sport do the diamond dawgs play
- babba smith babba watson (How is babba formed?)
- conclusion of devices and tools of volleyball
- whether forcas
- football pulk
- how to tequila suck
- febearary fever bracket
- what thinks i do georgia tech

From the "Dang, are you in the wrong place" department:
- sea world
- top 10 things to see at auburn university
- giotto, madonna enthroned, 1310
- world's cutest kittens calendar
- funny black eye woman motivational poster (hitting girls is wrong, okay?)
- cricket bat
- florida gators tattoo
- george washington cutting down the cherry tree (This was a Google image search. So if you find any pictures of that, do let me know)
- museum
- "any self respecting uf fan"
- sunbelt conference expansion
- i am inside flagator's tummy
- stjohns2012basketballrecruits
- go bearcats
- auburn i believe in auburn and love it
- famous wooden sculpture italy
- i hate john isner

And finally, from the "Welcome to Dawg Sports, Rex Ryan" Department:
- raquel welch feet

Go Dawgs!