clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Free Form Friday At The Movies: And The Oscar Goes To . . .Derek Dooley As "SEC Football Coach #6!"

It's awards show time again, which means theme music not approved by the Motion Picture Academy Of America, and a passel of offseason awards you won't find on this weekend's telecast, all after the jump . . .

Best Villain In An Offseason Drama: This is a tough one. Sure Nick Saban drew his usual flack during the lead up to Signing Day for his continued efforts to further the science of roster management. But really that would be like awarding George Strait the Best Male Artist Award for the 18th year in a row at the Grammys. And that's not our style.

Instead this one goes to Derek Dooley for his ham-handed approach to the transfer of DeAnothony Arnett. Arnett, you may recall, was the young man who wanted to leave Tennessee to return home to Michigan to be near his ailing father. Dooley was willing to let Arnett transfer back to the state of Michigan, just not to Michigan State or the University of Michigan. His lame rationale was that those are schools that Tennessee "plays or recruits against."

As Yahoo! Sports' Graham Watson correctly pointed out, it was a petty little swipe. It was all the worse because, quite frankly, Derek Dooley's mama and daddy raised him better than that. Dooley ultimately relented, but not before his PR blunder further cemented his reputation among Vol fans (and the rest of us) as a good football coach nevertheless in way, way over his head at the helm of an SEC football program.

Best Supporting Actor: Ponzi schemer and Miami booster Nevin Shapiro. The critical attribute of a great supporting cast member is his ability to fit seamlessly into what's going on around him, enhancing the finished product without becoming the product. Shapiro is the south Florida sidewalk alumnus from central casting. If sleazeballs like Shapiro did not naturally flock to the gaudy, day-glo machine that is Hurricane football, the NCAA would have to legislate them into existence. So atuned is Shapiro to Hurricane football, that picked up the singular characteristic of that program:the belief, in spite of all objective evidence, that what he's doing and saying is still relevant to the rest of us.

Best Actor In A Comedy:

This is a tricky category if only because, as Mel Brooks noted, one man's comedy is another's tragedy. There are all sorts of tragi-comic things going on in college football these days. But I think the best individual performance in this genre has to go to

Best Picture: Oh that's easy:


Not an offseason picture, but the reigning champion until something better comes along. Feel free to include your own nominations and ruminations in the comments. Until later . . .

Go 'Dawgs!