Don't Bet On It!: National Game of Disinterest (Week 13)

As Kyle discerned on Monday, this week's National Game of Disinterest is Kentucky at Tennessee. Neither of these teams are any good, and both programs are looking for new head coaches. (I wonder whether either of them will enter the Petrino sweepstakes before Auburn sweeps in to sign him.) Something about Joker Phillips and Derek Dooley's firings reminded me of the old country song "Poncho and Lefty," so I re-wrote it as "Joker and Dooley." With all apologies to Willie Nelson and Merle Haggard, here it is:

Losin' on the road, my friend
Will make your fanbase awful sick.
Will you wear those pants for fun?
Creamsicle clothes won't do the trick.
You're Barbara's only boy,
And her Precious one it seems.
She began to cry when you said, "Go Vawls!"
Then ruined all their dreams.

Joker was a weak OC.
His offense never moved the ball.
Supposed to be S-E-C,
But his quarterback might fall.
Joker lost his job you see,
Just like D at Tennessee,
Because they lost to Vanderbilt,
And it wasn't even close.

All the Wildcats they say
They didn't want him any way.
They only let Rich slip away
To watch Matlock, I suppose.

Dooley he could practice law.
It wouldn't be his only flaw.
Hilltoppers punched Jo' in the mouth,
'Cats will never win the South.
The day they let poor Joker go,
And Dooley looked to Statesboro,
Where he and hair might go,
There ain't nobody know.

All the Volunteers they say,
They didn't want him any way.
They only let Lane slip away
Due to sanctions, I suppose.

The bloggers tell how Joker fell.
And Dooley's livin' in a cheap hotel.
Commonwealth's grey and Neyland's cold.
That's how those programs end, we're told.
Joker needed better players, it's true,
But five stars couldn't save Dooley's crew.
They only did what they know how to do,
But it wasn't playing bowls.

Wildcats and Vols may say
They didn't want them any way.
They only let them co-llect pay
Out of kindness I suppose.

Happy Thanksgiving! Go Dawgs!