Last weekend, some SEC teams played some football games. Some of them involved confectionary goat sacrifices; others involved the unrealized hope of meteor showers. In any case, the results have been confirmed and catalogued, leading directly to the judgments contained in my SEC Power Poll ballot, which reads as follows:
1. Alabama Crimson Tide (7-0 overall, 4-0 SEC): I am running out of superlatives with which to describe Nick Saban’s club. If we were ranking “Star Trek” villains, ‘Bama would be the Borg, robotically methodical and utterly invincible. (Yes, Georgia would be the Ferengi, fabulously profitable and entirely non-threatening.)
2. Florida Gators (7-0, 6-0): Will Muschamp’s team is peaking on the eve of the World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party. Oh, swell.
3. LSU Tigers (7-1, 3-1): At some point in the distant past, a sage told Les Miles it was better to be lucky than good, and he replied: “Yeah, but why not both?”
4. Mississippi St. Bulldogs (7-0, 3-0): It’s late October, Mississippi State (a) is undefeated and (b) has played three conference games, and we’re the Bulldogs who catch flak for having played no one of note?
5. Georgia Bulldogs (6-1, 4-1): I keep hoping that struggling with a woeful Kentucky team is an encouraging sign that you’re a week away from beating the snot out of your most important division rival. Hey, it worked for South Carolina, didn’t it?
6. South Carolina Gamecocks (6-2, 4-2): I really regret that Coach Muschamp didn’t call a fourth-quarter flea-flicker to hang half a hundred on Steve Spurrier in the Swamp.
7. Texas A&M Aggies (5-2, 2-2): Have they considered falling behind early and using the second half to come back?
8. Mississippi Rebels (4-3, 1-2): It’s amazing how much better most SEC teams look during a bye week.
9. Arkansas Razorbacks (3-4, 2-2): See Ole Miss, supra.
10. Vanderbilt Commodores (3-4, 2-3): Was that the new Vandy we saw on Saturday? Because I’m really hoping it was the new Auburn.
11. Missouri Tigers (3-4, 0-4): Mizzou edged out the Big Orange by being blown out by Alabama at home one week earlier, so it was less fresh in my mind.
12. Tennessee Volunteers (3-4, 0-4): We are five games away from getting Barbara Dooley back as a member of our fan base, Bulldog Nation!
13. Kentucky Wildcats (1-7, 0-5): Because losing a close one to Georgia still is less shameful than losing a close one to Vanderbilt. Barely.
14. Auburn Tigers (1-6, 0-5): If you listen carefully, you can hear Bobby Petrino practicing saying, “War Eagle!”
That is how I see the SEC, but, as always, I welcome your thoughts on the matter in the comments below.