After surgery, our favorite go to wide receiver Michael Bennett tweeted, "I feel like a million bucks on these pain meds!" Which I found interesting, as I had told the staff earlier this week if I did Cocktail Thursday, it "maybe the blow, ice and grass with a beer edition". I said this immediately after trying to bring everything down a notch from last Saturday's live thread. After all, sometimes you need real pain relief. Or maybe that stuff is what some folks were on when they lost their mind last weekend. Furthermore, alternative, albeit illegal, recreation has been a pastime of some Georgia players. Hey, maybe we can turn this thing into profit! The Board of Regents and Michael Adams will be thrilled like after Saturday's loss, and we'll get a new baseball park with our ill gotten gains! However, we at DawgSports do not promote or condone the use of illegal drugs or non-prescribed medication*. So we'll have to stick with a tasty and also multi purposed beverage.
Speaking of pain medication, there was the Bayer aspirin commercial back in the 80s that said "When asked, 9 out of 10 Doctors said they would choose Bayer aspirin if stranded on a deserted island." As a young Boy Scout with a survivalist mentality, I asked my Moms, a Registered Nurse, what she would want if stranded on a deserted island. Her answer: A bottle of liquor. She then explained, "It can clean a wound, help start a fire, and well, if you got pain, it can fix that too." Funny the things that stick in a childhood memory, and really, as someone with a lot of survival training, it wasn't a bad answer. We do need a little survival mentality ourselves right now to push through the back half of this football year. So, as I was thinking on this week's concoction, I talked with a psychologist friend of mine, and I learned it has been shown men are usually only taught one form of socially accepted emotional expression: anger.
When you break bad, there is usually a lot of anger involved, and there was a lot of anger being poured out after last Saturday's game. I know. I get it. I feel ya. However, I think what we were really feeling wasn't anger, it was a big sad. In fact, what I think we felt was a Shot Through The Heart. Take a high ball glass and fill it with ice. Pour in 2 ounces of high test pure grain liquor, like Everclear. Fill the glass with Passion Fruit juice, and then drizzle in about ½ oz of grenadine. Stir and garnish with a who cares. You could pour this in a cocktail shaker and give it just one shake, but why bother with all the extra execution? Execution is overrated anyways. We'll have to work on our advanced execution next week while this week we work on fundamentals (of the blocking and tackling variety). Why Everclear? Because you drank all that high dollar bourbon last week, don't lie to me, the cabinet is getting bare, your pocket is thin with all the bets you lost, and it would make a great choice for your survival pack. It's probably what those yahoos were drinking when they got stupid at Aaron Murray's crib last week. Passion fruit juice? That's subterfuge, required in all breaking bad activities, and to trick yourself into thinking it's something it's not, like full of energy, vim and vigor. Maybe it will give us the boost we need; something has got to do it after all. And why grenadine? Well, that's the last crap laying around in your cabinet now back from that time you thought Tequila Sunrises were a cool drink. It will also be a way of making your guests think you're making a real tropical beverage. Which you're not. You're just killing the pain with 180 proof. **
In the meantime, feel free to use this as an open thread to discuss anything you want, particularly just how bad tonight's games are. Or anything else that suits you. Until next week...
* This is for humorous purposes only, do not use, make or sell drugs
** As always, drink responsibly, tip your wait staff and stay away from electronic communication devices as required.