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Why the Boise State Broncos' Nike Pro Combat Uniforms Are Worse than the Georgia Bulldogs'

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As noted by TheDeu, Year2 has designed the game plan by which the Bulldogs can beat the Broncos, but you and I both know that your focus is where midgeorgiadawg’s focus is; namely, on Boise State’s Nike Pro Combat uniforms, which are all-white with blue and orange highlights and super-sized horses on the helmets.

There appears to be an emerging consensus that the Broncos’ Nikefied duds are superior to Georgia’s controversial Pro Combat togs. I beg to differ. Consider the following:

White is a perfectly respectable color, but, cinematic conventions concerning readily identifiable good and evil characters aside, there are problems with this uniform. For one thing, any outfit featuring orange accents is butt-ugly, by definition. Likewise, there’s a problem with wearing white pants on a football field, and that problem is this:

Dude, that picture is borderline-NSFW. Admittedly, the overhead lighting isn’t helping matters, but let’s just say that, if tankertoad exhorts a BSU player to "hike the ball into [his] own junk" during the game night comment thread, the Bronco in question will have no difficulty complying. Nike did everything but give Boise State a crotch-swoosh for targeting purposes. Do you remember where Burt Reynolds was able to aim his passes against the white-clad prison guards in "The Longest Yard"? Well, now you know why.

To top it all off (literally), there are these helmets:

Is it just me, or does that helmet ring a bell? It was a long time ago, so I’m fuzzy on the details, but I seem to recall that it was back in the ‘40s, when I was the head of the Woltz International Pictures studio, and I refused to cast Johnny Fontane in a movie, and Tom Hagen paid me a visit at my home in Los Angeles, and I probably wasn’t as courteous to him as I should have been, and I woke up one morning, and, under the covers, I found . . . ahhhh! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! That helmet! That helmet!

I’m not claiming to be a fan of the Bulldogs’ Nike Pro Combat uniforms, but I by no means concede that the Broncos’ are any better. This is going to be an all-out battle for 60 minutes on the gridiron, so I’m not giving any ground on any of the points of contention off the field, either.

Go ‘Dawgs!