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Friday Morning Dawg Bites, 12-9-11: Kansas Gets A Decided Caloric Advantage.

Intrepid Kansans await the arrival of Charlie Weis, and pray that he leaves at least a couple of Klondike bars for the children.

The rumors that I'm getting a self-replenishing burrito bar in the corner of my office are very real. Real rumors, not true statements. By now you've probably heard the utterly preposterous rumor that Mark Richt is interested in the Texas A&M coaching job. People who cover A&M have also been propogating rumors that Bob Stoops and Chip Kelly are interested in the job. None of these guys has anything to gain by actually coaching football at Texas A&M. I don't know about Stoops and Kelly, but I do know that Mark Richt's representatives are working on a contract extension, which probably explains those same representatives trying to guage his value on the open market. But Mark Richt will go to Texas A&M when Aggies stop grabbing each other's junk in public and barking cheers that even they don't understand. Which is to say never.

But look on the bright side Bulldog fans: the glee with which opposing fans are blogging, tweeting and commenting about the Richt/TAMU rumors is a pretty good barometer of how badly they want those rumors to be true. Nobody really cares where Derek Dooley might interview.

More and more, it's looking like Patrick Nix for Florida offensive coordinator. There have been rumors for a while that Will Muschamp and members of his staff were not getting along with the notoriously abrasive Charlie Weis. Which, let's face it, sounds plausible in relation to pretty much everyone. Perhaps that explains Weis leaving to take the Kansas job even though Muschamp didn't even know he'd interviewed for it. And on the day before a huge recruiting weekend for the Gators. Or maybe Weis is just kind of a dick. I don't know. But I do know that tankertoad better guard that new Chik-Fil-A in Wichita, at least until they get one built in Lawrence for Chah-lie to terrorize.

Let's hope they all have a real good time. This is the weekend of the annual football awards gala in Athens, which also is usually one of the biggest recruiting weekends of the year. It's the weekend when long-time Bulldog commitments usually take their official visits to the Classic City, and also the weekend on which we try to host prospects who may need that little extra bit of attention and encouragement to don the red and black. With the bowl game some three weeks away there are few distractions from the business of bringing in the next crop of Bulldogs.

This weekend is no exception. Among the major targets expected to be on hand: Florida State commit Markus Eligwe, Memphis defensive back Sheldon Dawson, JUCO wide receiver target Cordarelle Patterson, and Palm Beach Gardens offensive tackle Avery Young, along with a host of already committed players.

Baylor. Baylor!!! Chris Brown made the case for Robert Griffin, III to win the Heisman. The best argument? He won 9 games at Baylor. Baylor. Baaayyyyllllloooooorrrrrrrr!!! Your. Argument. Is. Invalid. That's like taking a LeCar up to 140 on the Autobahn then parallel parking it in the Queen's study at Buckingham Palace. A display of come at me-ness for the ages.

Voting closed on Monday, but I am providing this link so that you can feel a little better about the whole process when Griffin is announced on Saturday. Which, as sure as you're sitting there delaying doing actual work by perusing a college sports blog, he will.

When Greg Robinson takes over, they'll be burning for Roof. The commentariat over at Track 'Em Tigers sounds a wee bit more wistful about the Ted Roof era than they did on the afternoon of November 12, 2011. In all fairness Roof did hold things together on the Plains well enough in 2010 to stay out of Cam Newton's way on the path to a national title*, so he's can't be a total dumbass, now can he? Of course he did just take a job working for George O'Leary. So let's go ahead and set Roof's dumbass status to "Neutral Probationary" okay?

Anchors away, my boys. While most of the regular season college football has already been played this weekend is the appointed slot for the annual Navy-Army game. As the grandson of a retired career Navy man hailing from south Georgia who joined that particular branch of the service at least partially because "a ship at sea was one place no one could make me walk behind a mule all day" I'll be pulling for the Midshipmen. This game has come to symbolize all that is right and good about college athletics, which is nice given all that is dysfunctional and disappointingsurrounding it right now.

#Neuheisel4DBT's!!! Finally, the patron band of Dawg Sports, the Drive By Truckers, have undergone a personnel change, losing bassist Shonna Tucker. Am I happy about that? Hell no, I ain't happy:

If life truly imitates art this was the end game preceded by years of shrieking calls to the Sheriff and tearful entrities to leave Billy Bob alone, and sleepless nights plumbing the depths of the collective psyche of the gothic South before simply deciding that life's too short to keep livin' this way.

In reality it was probably talented musicians playing fruit basket turnover, and going their separate ways to make a pretty decent wage playing music for a living with other, different yet still talented musicians. Good luck and sold out shows to all of them. But just let me say that somebody's got to sing that haunting, mournful backing part near the end of Where The Devil Don't Stay and all the current band members seem entirely too testicularly-fortified to do so.

That's it for your morning Dawg Bites. Now get to work, and . . .

Go 'Dawgs!!!