On a delightful Thanksgiving weekend hallmarked by shows of dominance by top teams and careless errors made by me in bunches, the Southeastern Conference concluded its regular season schedule, bringing us nearer to closing out the data set from which the final SEC Power Poll will be derived. Accordingly, I now offer you my evaluation of where the twelve teams in the league now stand, relative to one another:
1. LSU Tigers (12-0 overall, 8-0 SEC): I sure wouldn’t want to be the next team in the Bayou Bengals’ path. Wait, what? Aw, crud!
2. Alabama Crimson Tide (11-1, 7-1): Beating Auburn 42-14 is very impressive. Not as impressive as beating Auburn 45-7, but still.
3. Georgia Bulldogs (10-2, 7-1): Say what you will, the third-longest active winning streak in the country is still the third-longest active winning streak in the country.
4. South Carolina Gamecocks (10-2, 6-2): Crushing the Clemson Tigers is very impressive. Not as impressive as crushing a team that crushed the Clemson Tigers, but still.
5. Arkansas Razorbacks (10-2, 6-2): Don’t blame me for ranking the Hogs fifth; I’m not the one who lost the two biggest games of the season by a combined 79-31 margin.
6. Auburn Tigers (7-5, 4-4): The Plainsmen currently rank tenth in the SEC in total offense. Evidently, Gus Malzahn’s brilliance consisted largely of telling Cameron Newton, “Attaway to play, Cam!”
7. Vanderbilt Commodores (6-6, 2-6): This isn’t the “same old Vandy”; these Commies will be going to a bowl game. Also, I’ll be rooting for the ‘Dores to get annihilated when they get there.
8. Mississippi St. Bulldogs (6-6, 2-6): #SameOldState.
9. Florida Gators (6-6, 3-5): Georgia’s secret agent in Gainesville, Will Muschamp, has done his job magnificently. Uh, I mean, golly, how did the Gators ever go 6-6 with all that talent and such a superb offensive coordinator?
10. Kentucky Wildcats (5-7, 2-6): The bad news is that the bowl streak is over, but the good news is that the ‘Cats made the top ten after beating Tennessee for the first time since the Reagan administration! Oh, also, it’s basketball season, so there’s that.
11. Tennessee Volunteers (5-7, 1-7): Sorry, Barbara, but, yeah, he kind of is on the hot seat.
12. Mississippi Rebels (2-10, 0-8): Faulkner scholars now believe Benjy Compson’s outburst at the end of The Sound and the Fury was in response to a premonition of just how truly awful this Ole Miss team would be.
As always, I am open to your constructive criticisms, which I openly solicit in the comments below.
Go ‘Dawgs!