For those of us who choose to imbibe, spirits can be a great companion for celebrating a victory and a helpful tool for surviving a loss. As I do every week, I present you with an option for each as the Georgia Bulldogs prepare to take on the Kentucky Wildcats.
When Georgia Wins
Nothing is ever a given in college football. But a game against a team that is giving up an average of 36 points per game against conference foes is about as close as it gets. Should Georgia emerge victorious and bound for the SEC Championship Game, I suggest we embrace the homeland of Saturday's opponent and the coming festivities of Thanksgiving by celebrating with some...
WILD TURKEY!
In the immortal words of Ron Burgundy, "Sometimes you gotta look yourself in the mirror and say 'When in Rome...'."
Where You Can Get Your Hands On It: Your local college student/hillbilly.
When Georgia Loses
Disastrous. That's what a loss to the Wildcats would be. If that happens, perhaps you'd like to polish off a Saturday of epic failure with a nice long swig of...
DRANO!
If Georgia loses this game, we would've lost to a team that's giving up 36 points per game against conference competition (that crap cuts both ways) and, in all likelihood, given up our chance at playing in Atlanta. All this against the worst team in the division. Now, if you aren't comfortable with the whole death thing and would like to continue enduring crushing disappointment courtesy of the Dawgs, feel free to just stick with the Wild Turkey... but make sure you triple the amount in an effort to forget this whole cursed weekend.
Where You Can Get Your Hands On It: Your local home improvement store.
Please feel free to share your victory celebration / cirrhosis inducing grieving plans in the comments. Let's send the Seniors out in style tomorrow.
GO DAWGS!!!