At this point, it’s not entirely clear who’s in the SEC, so how am I supposed to rank the teams in order? Actually, differentiating between Nos. 1 and 2 proved much more challenging than arranging Nos. 3 through 12 in the proper sequence, so I’m feeling pretty good about this week’s SEC Power Poll ballot, which shakes out as follows:
1. Alabama Crimson Tide (6-0 overall, 3-0 SEC): I’ll be glad when November 5 gets here, so we can quit guessing about the difference between 1(a) and 1(b).
2. LSU Tigers (6-0, 3-0): Beating the crap out of Florida is so last weekend! (Not really. People can keep beating the crap out of Florida, and it will never get old!)
3. South Carolina Gamecocks (5-1, 3-1): Wait, so, Stephen Garcia was the one holding this team back?
4. Arkansas Razorbacks (5-1, 1-1): On the list of ways for a team to get on my good side, riding the Plainsmen hard and putting them up wet ranks way up there.
5. Georgia Bulldogs (4-2, 3-1): The Red and Black racked up some serious style points on Saturday night. Don’t believe me? Dude, calling a running play on third and 57 takes panache!
6. Auburn Tigers (4-2, 2-1): I thought it was a very moving gesture, the way Auburn paid tribute to Bobby Petrino by only playing 13/16ths of Saturday’s game.
7. Florida Gators (4-2, 2-2): Fortunately for the Sunshine State Saurians, they have Will Muschamp’s steady hand and calming demeanor, and Charlie Weis’s receptiveness to change and proven skill at working with college students, to rely upon during the current crisis.
8. Tennessee Volunteers (3-2, 0-2): I would’ve ranked them lower, but I was afraid Barbara Dooley would place an angry call to "The Dawg Gone Podcast."
9. Vanderbilt Commodores (3-2, 1-2): Since you started reading this posting, Vandy has picked off three passes.
10. Mississippi St. Bulldogs (3-3, 0-3): Scheduling all those Conference USA road games is going to look like a brilliant move when the Western Division Bulldogs roll into Memphis fully prepared to win the Liberty Bowl.
11. Kentucky Wildcats (2-4, 0-3): Eventually, being the worst team in the East will trump being the worst team in the West. Fortunately for Kentucky, it’ll probably be basketball season before that happens.
12. Mississippi Rebels (2-3, 0-2): Apparently, beating Fresno State on the road isn’t that big a deal, after all.
As always, your constructive criticisms and related observations are welcome in the comments below.