For those of us who choose to imbibe, spirits can be a great companion for celebrating a victory and a helpful tool for surviving a loss. As I do every week, I present you with an option for each as the Georgia Bulldogs prepare to take on Kiffin's abandoned and discarded children (NSFW).
When Georgia Wins:
I'm actually feeling pretty confident about this one, which is a rarity for me this season. I have no legitimate basis for feeling this way as I haven't bothered to watch Tennessee play this year, but I'm feeling good nonetheless. The D is looking better than it has in years and I believe Bobo will only screw up enough to anger us, not cost us the game. He's saving that for Jacksonville.
So when Georgia runs all over Rocky Top, celebrate with a...
ROCKY TOP SUNDAE!!!
Take a couple of heaping scoops of orange sherbet and make some little mountains. Pour Kahlua all over that vomit-inducing orange. Cover it up so you never have to look at it again. Take a giant bite and with your mouth full of boozy ice cream, sing Rocky Top (with alternate lyrics, of course) at the top of your lungs. Remember what its like to have fun and watch Georgia lay a beatdown on someone.
I know this one sounds a little weird, but its surprisingly delicious.
Where You Can Get Your Hands On It: Your local grocery store freezer aisle, your favorite liquor store.
When Georgia Loses:
Ok... I'm gonna let those of you who kept reading in on a little secret: All that stuff up there about me being confident of a Georgia victory? Yeah... not so much. I'm terrified Bobo's gonna screw this up. Epicly. I've been having nightmares about Carlton Thomas draws up the middle on 3rd and 25 all week. Should we see Mr. Thomas trying to knock over 300 pound defensive linemen, I suggest we end the evening with a few...
This was a personal favorite of mine during the college years (and anyone calling a shot a mind eraser is doing it wrong). For the uninitiated:
Step 1: In a red plastic cup, combine vodka, Kahlua, and tonic water in a 1:1:1 ratio. I used to go three shots of each, but I'm older and wiser now, so I'll go with a gentleman's two.
Step 2: Drink all at once through a straw. This is non-negotiable
Step 3: Wait 15-20 minutes for it to hit you like a ton of bricks. Drinking other things during this 15-20 minute period can be interesting and also slightly dangerous.
Step 4: Congratulations! Your 20 minutes are up and you are now worry free. As far as you're concerned Bobo is that weird red-headed clown that comes on WGN at 4 a.m.
Where You Can Get Your Hands On It: You could buy all the stuff.... or you could go to the places where they generally used to materialize for me: Tivoli, River Mill, or random houses around Five Points.
Drink up Dawgs... and prepare yourself for whatever may occur tomorrow evening. I'm confident that it could absolutely go either way. So please share how you plan to celebrate/wallow in misery in the comments.