It was a relaxing day in Bulldog Nation, as the Red and Black were idle and the Georgia faithful were able to watch SEC football free from anxiety. Consequently, I was tanned, rested, and ready---all right, I wasn’t tanned, because it’s late October . . . and, well, I wasn’t rested, because I’ve been fighting a cold all week, so I’m fairly well worn out . . . but, anyway, I was ready, at any rate---to prepare this week’s SEC Power Poll ballot, in which the twelve league teams appear to me to stack up as follows:
1. LSU Tigers (8-0 overall, 5-0 SEC): I was inclined to award the top spot to the Bayou Bengals even before the Tide messed around with the Vols for a half, but, at the end of the day, putting a 35-point skunking on Auburn gets you the benefit of the doubt from me every single time. (I hate Auburn.)
2. Alabama Crimson Tide (8-0, 5-0): Am I the only one who spent the first three quarters thinking I was watching a replay of the Georgia-Tennessee game?
3. South Carolina Gamecocks (6-1, 4-1): Yeah, yeah, yeah, they’re without Stephen Garcia and without Marcus Lattimore, but did they almost lose to Ole Miss today? Well, O.K., then.
4. Arkansas Razorbacks (6-1, 2-1): What, had Houston Nutt not produced enough maddening games for you people already?
5. Georgia Bulldogs (5-2, 4-1): I swear, I’m doing everything I can to keep the Red and Black’s ranking down.
6. Auburn Tigers (5-3, 3-2): Les Miles likes trucks. Auburn sucks.
7. Florida Gators (4-3, 2-3): I can’t shake the feeling that Will Muschamp has staged this whole thing just to lull us into a false sense of security.
8. Tennessee Volunteers (3-4, 0-4): If you only play 30 minutes of football, you never have to worry about getting jobbed at the end of 60 minutes.
9. Vanderbilt Commodores (4-3, 1-3): The Commies clobbered the Cadets of the United States Military Academy on Saturday night. Why? Because James Franklin hates America, that’s why.
10. Mississippi St. Bulldogs (3-4, 0-4): Honestly, if Mike Slive had decided to swap out Texas A&M for Mississippi State during the open date, it probably would’ve been a week or two before I ever noticed.
11. Mississippi Rebels (2-5, 0-4): There are no moral victories, but a close loss to a good team at least got the Black Bears out of the cellar.
12. Kentucky Wildcats (3-4, 0-3): It’s a sad day when an SEC team is so bad that even a 38-14 win over Jacksonville State can’t advance it past Ole Miss.
That’s how the SEC looks to me, but, once again, I’m way under the weather, so I could be completely wrong. By all means, feel free to set me straight in the comments below.