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SEC Power Poll (Week Three): Alabama Crimson Tide Stay Put at Top, Vanderbilt Commodores Rise from Cellar

This is supposed to be the point in the season at which teams begin to separate themselves from one another, so why is the SEC such a jumbled muddle at this point? I’m absolutely confident that Alabama is No. 1 and Kentucky is No. 7, but, otherwise, Nos. 2 through 6 and Nos. 8 through 12 are more of a tangle than King Henry’s position in Act I, Scene 2, of "The Lion in Winter." Accordingly, I am disclaiming all warranties, express or implied, with respect to the propriety of the placement of the following twelve teams:

1. Alabama Crimson Tide (3-0): Most Alabama fans believe the Tide will never lose another game between now and the end of time. I have no evidence before me to suggest that they are wrong.

2. South Carolina Gamecocks (3-0): That win over Southern Miss is looking a little more legit now, isn’t it? The Palmetto State Poultry are a solid squad winning games the old-fashioned way, by running the ball, controlling the clock, and playing stout defense. That must gall the heck out of Steve Spurrier.

3. Arkansas Razorbacks (3-0): Sigh.

4. LSU Tigers (3-0): The Bayou Bengals posted an impressive win over a solid squad. When’s the last time anyone was able to type that sentence?

5. Auburn Tigers (3-0): On the plus side, the Plainsmen came back to beat the Clemson Tigers after falling behind 17-0 at home. On the minus side, the Plainsmen had to come back to beat the Clemson Tigers after falling behind 17-0 at home.

6. Florida Gators (3-0): While I suspect fear that the Sunshine State Saurians are better than they have played, the fact remains that they haven’t played well yet. Either the Vols boast the best first-half team in the country, or Florida’s 7-3 halftime lead was not impressive.

7. Kentucky Wildcats (3-0): To their credit, the ‘Cats are 3-0. Then again, there probably are about 75 Division I-A programs that would be 3-0 against that schedule. Play someone, already!

8. Mississippi St. Bulldogs (1-2): Even though Dan Mullen’s club is 0-2 in SEC play, I’d take the Western Division Bulldogs to beat any of the 1-2 teams listed behind them. I really hope next Saturday proves me wrong upon that point.

9. Vanderbilt Commodores (1-2): Robbie Caldwell has ten words he’d like to say to everyone who predicted the Music City Sailors would go 0-8 in SEC play. The last eight words are: ". . . and the turkey in on which you rode!" Yes, I’m correcting the Robbie Caldwell voice I hear in my head so that he doesn’t end sentences with prepositions.

10. Tennessee Volunteers (1-2): So far, Derek Dooley’s two greatest achievements are (a) giving Big Orange fans reason to look at one another at halftime and say, "This ain’t as bad as I thought it’d be," and (b) losing by large enough margins in the second half that no one is tempted to break out the "moral victory" insult.

11. Mississippi Rebels (1-2): When you’re three games into your season and a loss to Vandy at home is by far the least embarrassing setback in your ledger, you have issues.

12. Georgia Bulldogs (1-2): The ‘Dawgs are 0-2 in SEC play. Manic Kyle has duct tape over his mouth and is tied up and locked in the trunk of a car being driven by Depressive Kyle.

Bear in mind that this is a power poll---who would beat whom next Saturday, based upon how well the various teams have played so far, and suchlike---and that my BlogPoll ballot uses resume ranking. I reserve the right to plead alternately and inconsistently.

Go ‘Dawgs!