It's college football's offseason. That's not my problem. It's not your problem. It's our problem. And collective problems call for collective solutions.
Thus, for the second interminable offseason in a row, we present Free Form Friday. Until further notice, I'll spend Fridays posting a vaguely organized compendium of non-sequiturs, pop culture observations and college sports miscellany which you may discuss in the comments, or ignore in favor of your own topics. Think of it as your weekend open comment thread.
Some of the ESPN talking heads seemed a bit surprised last night that Georgia Tech's Demaryius Thomas was the first wide receiver selected. Admittedly, I was very impressed with Dez Bryant during the season opener of which we do not speak. Really, Thomas made sense for the Broncos. He's a big guy whose shown an ability to go up and get the ball in traffic. But the thing that was overlooked by the ESPN-types is the fact that Thomas is a better than average blocker and
not Brandon Marshall a reputedly high character guy. I can't imagine how those two things slipped past Keyshawn Johnson without being noticed. Contrary to popular belief, it may be possible to succeed as a wideout in the NFL without shooting anyone, committing vehicular homicide or changing your surname to something that is not actually the spanish word for your jersey number because you're an attention grubbing but generally lazy receiver.
Speaking of Dez Bryant, he still went in the 1st round despite talking to Deion Sanders and lying about it. Just hanging out with Deion is enough to make me doubt the young man's decision-making ability.
Of course, no one has to talk to Deion if they don't want to. Like Tennessee safety Eric Berry, who refused to be interviewed by Primetime because the
certified worst tackler to ever duck and trip his way around an NFL field Hall-of Famer snubbed Berry's autograph request once upon a time. Now, I understand that there is a time and place for autograph seeking, and that Deion may have had a good excuse. But I can just as easily imagine Deion being kind of a jackass with little or no prompting. Who can't imagine that with little or no effort? Did I mention that he used to tackle like a little girl? A little girl with no arms? I just thought I'd point that out.
Does Jimmy Clausen have pictures of Mel Kiper in a compromising position with Osama Bin Laden and a sheep? That's the only possible explanation for Kiper's dogged insistence throughout the leadup to the draft that little Jimmy was among the 5 best players available in the draft. Apparently none of the teams with a pick in the first round of the draft agreed with him. Which is further proof that even Tom Lemming thinks Mel Kiper is a Notre Dame hack.
In addition to taking Bebe Thomas in the 1st, the Broncos also traded up to take Tim Tebow with the 25th selection. That's like paying $35,000 for a tricked-out Ford Bronco. It's a fine automobile, but it ain't an Escalade no matter what color the neon license plate cover is. Overpaying for a car or football player, even a good one, is still overpaying. Even if your new Bronco exhibits lots and lots of "leadership." On the bright side, it probably made Todd McShay so angry he started twitching, and that makes me happy.
South Florida defensive end Jason Paul-Pierre was shown after being picked doing a standing backflip in pads at 270 pounds. As Mrs. MaconDawg noted (while watching the NFL Draft, because she's perhaps the best wife in history) that kind of athletic ability just shouldn't be possible in a human being.
Of course no Bulldogs went in the first round, which is fine with me. Watching your best players walk to the podium on Draft Day means that your coaches are probably walking the floors trying to figure out who will replace them. Either Reshad Jones or Rennie Curran will likely be the first UGA player taken. If you want to read lukewarm praise of Reshad Jones from yours truly, feel free to check out SBNation's Miami Dolphin blog The Phinsider, who allowed me to pontificate for a few minutes yesterday. Rennie Curran has of course dealt with criticism of his height and questions about how that will affect his ability to play i the NFL. Personally I'm not worried about it. As one football coach I know once said, "I ain't looking for lightbulb changers. I need football players." Rennie Curran is most definitely a football player, likely an inside linebacker, and I have no doubt that he will stick in the NFL.
And while it's not draft-related, the weather here in Macon is warm and sunny, which means that for our Friday youtubery I'm morally obligated to play something by the Allman Brothers Band, who will themselves be playing at the Macon City Auditorium tonight and commemorating the opening of the Allman Brothers Band Museum. Y'all stop in some time.
I'll be back tomorrow with some recruiting coverage and Kyle will almost certainly be talking about the weekend baseball series with South Carolina, as much as it pains him. Until then . . .