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Cocktail Thursday: Tennessee Edition

We've had a good week of deep self-examination here at Dawg Sports. We've considered whether Mike Bobo should be retained as our offensive coordinator, whether Dave Van Halanger should continue to oversee the strength and conditioning program, whether Mark Richt should be remain the captain of our rag-tag little boat (or should instead be viciously mutinied upon Pirates of the Caribbean-style), and even whether we should convert to zoroastrianism. In short, we're looking at just about every conceivable way to get this dilapidated single-wide of a season back up on the cinder blocks.

To his credit, Coach Richt seems to be doing the same. DGD David Green cautioned recently that the worst thing a coach can do is to not be himself, and I tend to agree. Players know when your indignation, threats and even your praise are fake.  But Richt and his staff have made changes this week: instituting tough, physical practices in hopes of eliciting a tough, physical effort on Saturday. Juggling the underperforming offensive line by moving freshman guard Kenarious Gates into the lineup and Trinton Sturdivant to the starting left tackle spot. It may not be desperation, but it kinda smells a little like it.

I truly cannot bear the thought of a 1-5 start which would result from a loss this Saturday in Athens. Really. I'm not sure how I would react to watching Derek Dooley walk triumphantly across the Sanford Stadium turf to shake hands with Mark Richt. Though seeing the DawgVent literally implode on itself would almost, almost be worth it. But not quite. If we are to avoid the actual unraveling of space and time which would be occasioned by a Volunteer victory, the defense will be the key. I think we all know that the offense isn't going to carry us to victory at this point. Carry us two yards from victory before haplessly fumbling it away? Maybe. But not all the way to the promised land. No, if this ragged Yugo of a season is going to be pulled from the ditch, I fear it will only be because Todd Grantham was the one snugging up the chains and giving the ole John Deere a little more gas. Hold the Volunteers to 17 points or less and hope for the best. That's my strategy for success.

We need Todd Grantham's group to be on fire. We need a torrid effort from our defensive coordinator. As a chill fills the air around Athens prior to the noon kickoff we end up with when our season has been an utter train wreck (and our opponent hasn't exactly been en fuego either) we need:

A Hot Toddy. Not to be confused with Hotty Toddy, the weird amorphous Ole Miss mascot option that looks like a troupe of Blue Man Group imitators washed their unitards in hot water with whatever else they could scrape off the bottom of the closet. I mean a traditional hot beverage designed to ward of the cold and believed to generally be good for what ails you. That sounds like exactly what we need now, right?

There are dozens of different ways to make one. You all probably have your own recipes which I encourage you to share in the comments. But here's how I'll be making mine: Coat the bottom of a coffee cup or similar vessel with 1 tablespoon of honey. Add 2 tablespoons of lemon juice, then 1 and 1/2 ounces of brandy. Toss in a teabag and fill with hot water to steep the tea (5 minutes should do it). Remove the teabag and stir the mixture with a cinnamon stick, which you may leave in the drink for its soothing aroma. Because you may need soothing this weekend. I'm just saying.

I'll be back tomorrow with the Friday Tailgate. There'll probably be some DbTs involved. I was going to reach for The Cure, but they're just not morbid enough. Until then,

Go 'Dawgs!!!