A DGD's Pilgrimage: Written by Herschel Chaucer

Here is my Hate Week poetic contribution, complete with Modern English translation after the jump. Lest any scholar of Middle English have a heart attack, I offer the disclaimer that my grasp of proper Middle English syntax and grammar resembles the grasp our defense has on third and long: loose, but with the best of intentions. Some of the rhymes get lost in translation, but slight changes are sometimes necessary to improve the whole. Without further ado:

Whan that Octobre with his victory sote

the defeates of Septembre purged with a gote,

And bathed every throate in swich liquor,

To allowen fans to yelle loudre and quickre;

Whan Excessivus smites with his flagge yellowe

inspired by every bolde and cheekye fellowe

Who doth dancen in zones end, after the yonge

backs Ealey and King their cours y-ronne;

And Cock fowles falle prey to leyte seasons beaste,

Leaving the Dawges in fighte for the Easte;

So priketh hem Fandom in hir corages--

Than longen Dawges to goon on pilgrimages,

And the Rede and Blacke for to seken foren londes,

To vaste arenas, uncouthe with jorted blondes;

And specially, from every citys ende

of Georgia to Jacksonville they wende,

Holy blisful victory for to seke,

To extende to four the lyzards losing streake.

When that October with his victory sweet

the defeats of September purged by goat,

and bathed every throat in such liquor,

to allow fans to yell louder and quicker;

When Excessivus smites with his flag yellow,

inspired by every bold and cheeky fellow

who dances in the end zone, after the young

backs, Ealey and King, their courses run;

and Cock-fowls fall prey to late season's beast,

leaving the Dawgs in a fight for the East;

so Fandom pricks them in their hearts--

Then Dawgs long to go on pilgrimages,

and the Red and Black seek foreign lands,

to vast arenas, uncouth with jorted blonds;

And specially, from every city's end

of Georgia to Jacksonville they wend,

holy, blissful victory to seek,

to extend to four the lizards' losing streak.

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