I'm sure that as actual functioning members of society you all have a ton of things to do today. And if like me you don't work for the government or a bank (but then again, who can really tell the difference these days?) you can't beg off work to avoid those nagging tasks. But I hope that like me you'll find a few moments to cross some items off your Monday College Football To-Do List. Here's mine:
11.
Get up. Hear radio report about starter on the UGA football team getting arrested in the wee hours of the morning.10.
Freak the hell out over #11 and wonder how many times our football program can squander a glimmer of prosperity.9.
Find out from reliable sources that it may not actually be that bad. Call to cancel the ambulance.8. Rewatch DVR'ed Stanford/USC game because, Holy Moses, the Kiffining, it approaches. It's like Groundhog Day in a Nike dri-fit polo. (Your bonus tired internet meme of the day? Pedantic Bill Plaschke is pedanctic!)
7.
Rewatch DVR'ed Florida /LSU game. Capture screen shots of various bros in Gator basketball jerseys in the stands (seriously, and you wonder why me make fun of how you dress?) looking first smug and insufferable then irretrievably forlorn in one 3 minute stretch.6. Drive to Baton Rouge to rub Les Miles' head for good luck. Prepare for possibility that hand may be burned off and/or explode Raiders of the Lost Ark-style. Because no one truly understands the forces behind Senor Lesticles' pact with, um, . . . ,who or whatever he made an otherworldly pact with to get to 6-0 .
5. Call cable company. Goat size? Just right. But we're clearly gonna need a bigger DVR.
4. Listen to the Paul Finebaum Show on satellite radio. <------- possibly the highlight of the day!!!
3. Wistfully dream that you had one of those nifty receivers that allows you to record satellite radio. ("But Paul! Paul! We're on a downward trajectory, Paul!")
2.
Thank the Lord for nifty receiver wearing #8 UGA jersey. And for freshman quarterback wearing #11.1. Finish weekly "Wrapping Up" post. Wash Goat Roast commemorative t-shirt worn during Tennessee game so that it can be worn again during Vanderbilt game. Locate Mrs. MaconDawg's Goat Roast t-shirt just in case we need a spare.
So what's on your list for the day? Until later . . .
Go 'Dawgs!!!