No, you may not choose the under for each hypothesis just because you're feeling down like that. Saturday will be here before you know it so without further delay or unnecessary explanation, I ask you, over or under?
1) Joe Cox will complete 59.9% of his passes.
2) Stephen Garcia will throw for 239.9 yards.
3) Aron White will have 2.9 receptions.
4) Aron White will have 49.9 yards receiving.
5) Caleb King will carry the ball 4.9 times.
6) Tiny Floating Matthew McConaughey will crank out In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida on the bongos 4.9 times. Before halftime. (Thanks again, Orson. That one just keeps on giving.)
7) Steve Spurrier will toss his headgear 1.9 times between kickoff and the final buzzer.
8) The South Carolina offense will muster 299.9 yards of total offense. (Hint, last week against North Carolina State they had 256.)
9) The University of Georgia, which has won roughly 77% of the football games it has played against the University of South Carolina, will scratch out 299.9 yards of total offense. (Hint, last week they had . . . 257. Which is both a. more than 256 and b. more than a little depressing).
10) A.J. Green will have 5.9 receptions. I know, you'd think it was a slam dunk, wouldn't you?
11) Branden Smith will touch the ball 2.9 times on offense.
12) Orson Charles will touch the ball 2.9 times on offense.
13) The Gamecock extra point unit will miss on 0.9 attempts.
14) South Carolina's Brian Maddox will rush for 89.9 yards.
15) David Pollack's interception of Corey Jenkins in the 2002 game will be shown 1.9 times during the television coverage of the game.
Bonus:
16) Some variation of the phrase "Steve Spurrier really gets up for/ looks forward to/ hates/loathes Georgia" will be used 0.9 times.
And a brief programming note. Cocktail Thursday will make its scheduled appearance tomorrow evening. So don't lose heart if you show up here at 7:00 a.m. looking for new and inventive ways to utilize your stash of hard liquor and don't find anything. On the other hand, if you do show up here at 7:00 a.m. looking for hard liquor applications, perhaps you should do a little self evaluation. I'm just saying.
7:00 p.m. however? Oh yeah, we'll have your back. Until later . . .
Go 'Dawgs!!!