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Revisiting My Preseason Forecasts (Part II): Assorted Oddball Predictions

Here in Bulldog Nation, we believe in finishing the drill. Yesterday, I reviewed the conference championship predictions from my preseason forecasts, and I now turn to the more freewheeling, open-ended, and (generally) boneheaded prognostications I offered in August. These are they:

The Bulldogs and the Gators both will break out special uniforms for the World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party. It will be black jerseys versus blue pants in Jacksonville.

Georgia will surrender more points to Georgia Southern than to Georgia Tech.

Georgia will wear black jerseys in the national championship game.

Georgia will win the national championship.

All right, let’s go ahead and get all of those out of the way in one fell swoop, because, frankly, if I have to deal with them one at a time, I’m going to vomit. If I predicted something favorable for my alma mater, I was wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.

Although the Trojans will be ranked higher in the B.C.S. standings and will capture the conference’s best bowl berth, U.S.C. will share the Pac-10 championship with another of its league coevals.

The first half of that prediction was correct, and the second half of that prediction almost was correct, although, had the second half of that prediction been correct, a portion of the first half of that prediction wouldn’t have been correct. In other words, that one was going to fall under the heading of "close, but no cigar," no matter what.

Kansas will not attend a January bowl game at the end of this season.

I was right about this one, albeit only barely, as the Insight Bowl kicked off at 5:30 p.m. on New Year’s Eve.

Alabama, which opens against Clemson in the Georgia Dome on Saturday, will play a second game in Atlanta in December.

Obviously, I hedged a little bit here, as a Crimson Tide appearance in either the S.E.C. championship game or the Peach Chick-fil-A Bowl would have qualified, but I was right . . . and I’m pretty sure the ‘Bama faithful are glad about the way this one broke.

2008 will be the last year for either Bobby Bowden at Florida State or Joe Paterno at Penn State, but not for both.

Laugh while you can, but, sooner or later, I’m going to be right about this one. Maybe.

During the weekend of the Razorbacks’ November 15 open date, it will be reported by a reputable Arkansas media outlet that Bobby Petrino has been spotted on the campus of a university known to be in the market for a new head coach at the end of the season.

Laugh while you can, but, sooner or later, I’m going to be right about this one. Definitely.

The Big 12, Pac-10, and S.E.C. will send two teams apiece to the Bowl Championship Series.

Big 12? Oklahoma and Texas, check. S.E.C.? Alabama and Florida, check. Pac-10? Southern California and . . . drat. Missed it by that much!

Texas Tech will lose four games.

O.K., I blew the call on that one. Unless, of course, I’m allowed retroactively to add the words ". . . if the Red Raiders play in the S.E.C. this season" to the end of that forecast. Then it’s unquestionably true.

I will watch part, though not all, of at least one Big Ten conference game virtually on every weekend of the season and I will often utter the phrase, "This could get interesting." However, at no point in any of the games in question will I actually get interested.

I was right about that one. I dare you to deny it. I double-dog dare you. By the way, as someone who holds two degrees from the University of Georgia, I am authorized to skip the dare and the double-dare and proceed directly to the double-dog dare, which would have come in really handy when trying to get the kid to stick his tongue on the frozen flagpole in "A Christmas Story."

The winner of the Mississippi-Mississippi State game will attain bowl eligibility through its Egg Bowl victory, but will not receive a postseason invitation.

Uh, nope.

Pittsburgh will go into its November 15 bye week sporting a 6-3 record but will end the regular season on a three-game skid to finish at 6-6.

Actually, Dave Wannstedt’s bunch sported a 7-2 ledger heading into the open date and won two of its last three regular-season outings to finish 9-3 before losing a snoozefest of a bowl game in El Paso. (Incidentally, in order to confirm Pitt’s final record, I Googled "Pittsburgh Panthers" and the first result that came up was "The Pink Panther 2 showtimes for Pittsburgh, PA." That’s just sad.) (By the way, if you use the most well-known search engine while you’re drunk, are you beer-Googling? I’m just asking, mind you.)

Well, there you have it, just a boatload of mega-inaccuracy all over the place. Tomorrow, I’ll be moving from preseason predictions to postseason forecasts and reporting on how I fared during bowl season, with the final "Don’t Bet On It!" numbers provided for your perusal.

Go ‘Dawgs!