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The Official Dawg Sports Christmas Act Of Reconciliation For 2009.

Georgia Tech students, fans, and alumni,

I know we Bulldog partisans make fun of you folks a lot. Perhaps inordinately so. But you have to admit, you occasionally make it easy. Like when you prattle on about our alleged subpar academics while your own compliance office is allowing enough ineligible athletes on the field at once to field an entire starting defense. Or when you refer to our student-athletes as "thugs" while waiting in line to score a bag from Reuben Houston or keeping an eye out for Joe Hamilton in his very own ramblin' wreck. As Stephon Marbury might say during one of his brief lucid intervals, the University of Georgia Tech is a complicated place. Like, with numbers and stuff.

But let's put all that behind us. As we celebrate this most joyous of seasons, locked paw in barbed abdomen hand in hand, I offer you this one time only deal: stop doing crap like this that makes you so darned easy to laugh at, and I will stop laughing at you. Seriously, how is it that greek organizations at most universities are able to raise enough alumni cash to buy or lease a 4000 square foot communal house, but the Ramblin' Reck Club at Tech can't keep a grand plus gas money in the bank? Keyaron Fox and Tashard Choice probably have that much in their couch cushions. As they say in the fundraising business, somebody needs to get out and "make the ask."*

Good luck getting your car to Miami, Techsters. I would help you out, but I'll be busy squirreling away gas money for Shreveport.


* Which is, by the way, one of the 10 dumbest turns of phrase in the english-speaking world. Right up there with "I don't have the bandwidth" in place of "Jeez, get off my back I'm too busy!"